Scared To Love

Chapter 5

I looked down at Andrew's jacket and wondered if I really should take it. The rumors are going to be circulating for a while, especially after the stunt we pulled after school, but I wasn't quite sure if me wearing his jacket would make things worse or keep them the same.

With one finial sigh I snatched the oversized jacket off my bed and wrapped myself in it. It had his scent all over it, and it was warm and calming in a way.

I had finally made it through the gossippy crowd and to my locker when someone grabbed my arm. I was slammed into my locker, two hands gripped me waist as I struggled to break free. I had my eyes closed as I struggled squirming side to side to loosen the hold I was in, and that's when it happened.

Lips touched mine and it seemed so familiar. They touched mine in light feather motions bringing back so many beautiful memories, but with the good came the bad, and that's all I could see as I pushed away.

"Jason stop." I said pushing away more forcefully. I didn't want to remember anything, the good, the bad, the hurt. Nothing. He tensed up and moved back.

"Aubry I love you." He whispered sounding almost pained. His eyes held so much sadness and I thought about giving him another chance, experience the amazingness we had, see if it's still there. But I knew it wasn't. I felt nothing, no electricity, no fireworks, no butterflies, nothing of what I felt the first time he kissed me slowly like that.

"Jason I can't." I mumbled as tears began to cascade down my face. I absentmindedly pulled Andrew's jacket closer and walked to the nearest restroom. I couldn't take all my thoughts running wild causing me to be that depressed teenager who cried for any little reason.

After the first period bell rang I decided to go home and just lay in bed and think. Think about Jason and myself. I think I still loved him, but I wasn't quite sure. I put my thoughts on pause and rushed home. When I was in the comfort of my soft bed I went back to my thoughts.

If I still loved Jas, why didn't I feel anything when he kissed me? Was I too hooked on the fact that he hurt me? Was I scared he'd do it again? Did I lose all feelings cause I lost the trust? Can I give him a second chance? But wasn't he dating Sam? If they are dating why does Jason keep saying he loves me? Was he doing it just to get me back?

My head was pounding, so instead I rolled over stuffing the pillow into my face. I didn't want to try again, I didn't want to put in the effort that was lost. I did love Jason, but he might have just been a chapter in my life. Who knows, maybe after this passes we can try again, but right now I needed a major break from him.

With that thought, my headache started to vanish, and sleep started to enclose on me.

I was awaken by furious knocking on my front door.

"I'm coming." I yelled rushing down the stairs. I rubbed my face to erase some of the sleep still evident there. With one finally huff I pulled the door open to come face to face with Andrew.

"Hey Waddles." He said smiling. I pulled him into the house once I saw the state he was in. He had a busted lip, a cut above his left eye and swollen red knuckles.

"Andrew, what happened?" I asked pulling him into the kitchen.

"Just a little altercation. That's all I'm fine honestly." He flinched as I put a rag drenched in alcohol on the cut across his brow.

"Andrew this does not look fine. You have a cut, a busted lip and bloody knuckles. Who'd you fight with? " I asked removing the cloth from his brow placing it across his bruised and bloody looking knuckles.

"Aubry that's not my blood." He said pulling the rag off. He walked to the sink and washed his hands. He was telling the truth, all that was left was the swelling.