Thoughts/ Excerpts

T H R E E

A/N: I know that chapter three was completely different, sorry if that irritates you right now. I deleted chapter 3 and replaced it with this one. Hope you like it!

And I'm  ashamed of myself, for not being able to share too personal things.
I'm ashamed of myself because I can't share things I love too much.
I am ashamed of myself for barely being able to control myself when I'm angry.
I'm ashamed of myself for always hiding, and keeping almost everything to myself.
I'm ashamed of myself, that I can forget this world.
I'm ashamed of myself for figurig out others glaws or searching for them.
I'm ashamed of myself for wishing that I'd die earlier than all of my most loved people, just to not feel much pain.
I'm ashamed of myself of being so egoistical to follow my wishes, to still be able to dream and get disappointed when it doesn't work out the way I wanted it to.
I'm ashamed of myself for wanting to get to know certain people better, for wanting them as my friends, even though they're out of my league.

I'm ashamed of myself for making mistakes.
I'm ashamed of myself for not being able to shut down those voices in my head that want me dead or hurting.
I'm ashamed of myself, that I sometimes like animals better than peolple, because I think I can talk to animals and they're not going to make fun out of me, but the people are going to if I tell them anything.
I'm ashamed of myself for only being open to my best friend, and tellig her everything, but not being able to tell whatever I told her, to my family.
I'm ashamed of myself for never being able to talk to strangers my age or a couple years older than me and always blushing.

I'm ashamed of myself, because I think I have to hide from everyone.

I'm ashamed of myself for not being able to say whatever I feel.

I am ashamed of my own ego that shows up sometimes.

I'm ashamed of being ashamed of myself.