Do I have to be perfect?
Do I have to fit in?
What if people actually see how weird I am? What if I allow them to see me?
The real me?
What if I can actually break down these walls for which it took me to build up? What if I can open up, once in my life, and that not only to one person?
But: no.
There is no way...
Maybe the reason for my disbelief in love comes from that to: not only because I don't like myself, but becaus I don't know how to open up to people, I don't know how to show myself, how to make myself somewhat likeable to people, that's really just impossible for me, just like a distant dream, which hangs on to you.
I don't know how to open up to people and because of that I'm alone. I'm almost every second alone.
I know that God is with me, but there are not even a handful of people who really know me, that are next to me.
I mean I made it like that, I don't even know when it started, but as soon as I realized it was bad for me, it was too late.
I kept on telling others that it was never too late for anything, but as I look at myself now, I really think, that it's too late for myself.
I can't break down everything that I've build around me, actually, I'm not able to. I'm too weak for it.
I can't.
YOU ARE READING
Thoughts/ Excerpts
Non-FictionThis will contain thoughts of mine (duh...). The languages can differ from turkish, english and german and korean. Warning: If you don't like depressive thoughts, then some parts of this book will bore you/ annoy you. I'm not saying that every part...
