Thoughts/ Excerpts

T W E N T Y

No. In case you're asking, it was not my father's decision to make, neither was it the decision of my mother, my teachers, my siblings, my friends, my cousin's, my neighbor's. Heck, it wasn't even up to the principal or our city's council.

However, it was indeed, my decision to make. And I chose to exert it. To hide away, to cowardly seek the comfort of my friends, my sleep, my siblings, my parents as an excuse to evade doing something. Doing anything. There were two choices: either step away or step forward. The answer lies in my cowardness. My cowardness that is even depicted in these lines as I'm writing them, scared as I type these words, miffed at myself, continuously. Constantly. But do I change anything?

No.

But if I were to tell you something, it'd be that I have a choice. Right now. As corny as it may sound. I have a choice. I have the power to alter myself, and only I am in the possession to do it- only I can modify the person I am right now. Because I have power over myself. I have the reigns on who I can, and may become. Who I will become.

Hoping doesn't change anything. Yes, I'm aware of it. I admit it. Sitting in the shadows of my room, tons of work is looming over me. In fact, it may get arduous at times. Breaking away from my "shell", as they called it, was never an easy thing to begin with. Yes, I might sound too optimistic, too deluded. After all, these are only plans- and not even close to specific.

So, I have a choice. Will I start doing something, or will I sit around planning, wailing over failed work?