Opposites

s i x t y - s i x

Please spam me with comments as you read even though I don't deserve it bc it's been 78 years since i've updated :( love you

Melody

I don't know how I ended up like this. I don't know why I had to lie instead of saying the truth from the very start. I didn't know I would end up trapped inside a lie that's been vigorously dug so deep that I can't crawl out of anymore. Every single lie that escaped my mouth, turned out so outrageous that it got to the point where I hated myself. Zayn doesn't deserve to be lied to again, and I hate that I'm putting my happiness over his. If I tell him who I really am, it would lead to us being completely over, and we haven't even started yet. Knowing that I wouldn't be able to comprehend the idea of us being over, I'm putting myself first. That's not me. I'm not selfish, I'm not that selfish. What did this complicated lie do to me? What have I become because of all of this? Something in the back of my mind is scolding me for not saying the truth. But, at the same time it's telling me not to worry about anything, and just live in the moment while waiting for it all to crumble on me when it happens. Can I let that happen? Will I let that happen?

Scenarios of Zayn finding out in different ways cloud my vision, thoughts, and mind. Him finding out will ruin everything. As selfish as I sound right now, I'll still try my hardest to keep this secret hidden, even though I know it's impossible at the end of the day. Zayn won't leave me if he found out, right? Or am I being way too optimistic about this all?

Questions fill up my jumbled, messy, stressful mind, as I try to give it a break and focus on finishing my last rehearsal.

The worry of Zayn finding out about me plus the show being held tomorrow, increases the stress to a whole new level. I'm terrified of what might happen tomorrow. I can't— won't mess up, because I've trained so hard for this show. I need to impress the thousands and thousands of people tomorrow, even if they don't come to watch me.

As well as I'm scared for my own sake, I'm afraid if Zayn finds out about the show somehow. He doesn't watch nor read anything related to dancing, so I'm safe as long as he doesn't hear it from anyone else.

With a sigh, I bow down as a sign of finishing off my last step of the choreography.

The glazing dirty sweat on my forehead makes my hand to automatically jolt up, wiping them away. My chest heaves up and down from my earlier dancing, as I strech out my limbs. When I finish, I hop off the stage. While sorting out my bag, I hear a door echoing through the large arena.

My vision stays focused on my bag, finally pulling it over my shoulder. Looking up, I see no one but Jacob walking down the stairs that lead to the spot where I'm standing in.

He flashes me a wide grin, making me smile in return.

Jacob skips the last two steps, running towards me. Running a hand through his feathery hair, he says. "Hi."

"Hey." I say it back, fixing the strap of my backpack.

He quirks an eyebrow. "Do you have a ride back home?"

Biting my lower lip, I stare thoughtfully at his face. "Uh, I'll walk there. S'fine." I nod. But, the ache burning all the way up through my legs makes me regret saying that.

Jacob rolls his eyes playfully, "Oh, come on. I'll give you a ride, let's go."

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