A Dragonfly's Dream

Chapter XIII - The perpetual night

DREAM JOURNAL

The perpetual night

It was a perpetual night. Everywhere, it was dark and foreboding. There were big old trees, with branches like hands of old people. After a few minutes I turned and he was there, sitting on a bench. He didn't belong in this dream. He was there simply because I called him.

Like everything else around me, he too, was creepy. He looked dead. His skin looked as though it had been embalmed.

We enjoyed each other's company some more, and then he said ' I have to go'.

I was once more alone.

In the darkness.

..................

Atty. Frank V. Torres

That was my dad's name ...and it was written outside the funeral parlor. I blinked and stared at it again, hoping the letters would change and it would be some other name. Someone I didn't recognize. But the letters of his name continued to stare back at me.

I would never hear him sing again.

"My dad's dead. I really need someone right now. Can you make it to his funeral?" I asked Andy over the phone.

"I can't tonight. Got an exam tomorrow."

I couldn't believe his response. The person I loved most in the world was dead! And he can't even sit out an exam? He could have easily made an excuse and gotten a special test. If the two years that we had together ever mattered to him at all, he should have been there for me, at that moment when I felt so alone.

"How about tomorrow then?"

"Yeah, okay, I'll pass by tomorrow."

...................

"Isn't Andy coming to the wake?" my mom asked.

So, this was how it felt like to be hosting a funeral. I thought about James and how I never got to attend his funeral. I tried to imagine what it must have been like for the ones he left behind. Perhaps like me, they too, had felt numb with shock.

Reality hasn't sunk in and deep down, I was still hoping that maybe this was all just a bad dream that I could wake up from. The full impact of his loss would come later, after every one who had said their shallow condolences have gone. And we would have to go home. And I would call out his name.

And he wouldn't be there.

"He can't. He has an exam today. But he'll pass by tomorrow." I assured her, wondering if she actually noticed the disappointment in my voice. To avoid the subject, I turned my attention to the other guests. There were a lot of people. Most of them were busy talking about how my dad was when he was alive.

I went towards Maya and Charise who were seated somewhere at the back. "Thanks for being here."

"This card is from my family." Maya said. "Jake sends his condolences too, but he can't come, since, you know, he's working in Singapore."

I thanked her and took the card. "Of course. Tell him I understand completely."

"Be strong okay?" Charise said.

I nodded. Unintentionally, my gaze fell on my sister, Leigh, and her boyfriend, Matthew. They looked sweet together.

I looked away.

..................

Andy finally came the next day.

Outside the funeral room, he talked about himself and the good things that were happening in his life, as usual. He talked about his high grades, the many wonderful friends he had ---how easy life was for him.

I wondered if, even for a minute, he thought about the girl who was standing in front of him, listening patiently. That girl who had just lost her father, and it seemed, the world. The girl who had given him two years of her life and love.

"Can you make it again tomorrow?"

"Oh, shucks, tomorrow, I can't make it, because I am going to a party."

"Wow, sounds like fun." I said, as I looked into his fake hazel brown eyes.

"Yeah, I'm sure it would be."

"Enjoy your party."

He left. I went back inside, looked over at the guests once more, and went straight to front to where my dad was. I gently touched his coffin and said a prayer. I remembered how my dad cried the day he found out about Andy.

He never liked Andy. He had warned me to take it slow. He didn't want me to get hurt.

"You were so right about him, dad."