josh looks at tyler as he sleeps, the boy laying on his chest. he watches the way his lips part, and the way his eyebrows furrow. the way his lip turns up just slightly whenever Josh moves. he's a beautiful boy. perfect. absolutely lovely. he loves him, so much.
the younger boy stirs slightly, Josh smiles, lightly pressing the boy to his chest.
Tyler sits halfway up, his arms refraining him from falling.
"josh."
"tyler."
tyler squeezes his eyes shut, Josh notices, he places his hand under tylers chin in an attempt to hold him still.
"are you feeling okay?"
tyler shakes his head. josh already knew this, but he gives him a slight smile.
"i want you to feel okay."
"you're the first okay i've had in a really long time."
-
"i just wanna know what's on your mind." josh whispers into tylers ear, him running his hand through the younger boys hair.
"i used to say i wanna die before I'm old, but because of you I might think twice."
josh smiles, glancing at the time, it reads 4:32 am. the boys have been up all night, talking about themselves, and why they're where they are.
the funeral is tomorrow, and tyler doesn't intend on going. he'll stay with josh. josh is his safe place. josh is his hiding under the covers and being held while he cries. josh is his listen to me talk for hours and get it all out, and then ask if i'm okay. josh is his i'm gonna put glowing stars on my ceiling because you told me you had them before the accident, and they help you sleep. josh is his.
the younger boy snuggles his head into joshs chest.
"you're what's on my mind." he whispers.
josh smiles, and holds the boy, the two don't say anything else, they just hold eachother. both needing it desperately.
-
tyler was like a drug to Josh, he's absolutely obsessed with the boy, but neither of them are complaining. they loved spending their time together, and neither boy would want it any other way.
-
"your eyes look like cups of mocha. like swirls of chocolate. like when you're making homemade chocolate milk, and you pour the chocolate from the bottle into the milk. that's what they remind me of. they're beautiful."
tyler says this with his forehead pressed against the pink haired boys'.
"I love you."
"I love you."
tyler crawls onto joshs lap and wraps his arms around his neck. a pout forms on his lips.
"I love you most."
josh puts his arm around the younger boy, shutting his eyes.
and for the first time in a long time,
tyler does the same.
YOU ARE READING
night - joshler
Fanfiction"i think back on things and see things in dark and light. every time i think about my house i imagine it being dark inside because it usually is, you know? everything's dark now." "then i know im going to be the first light you have in a while." ©️...
