the blare of a bright computer screen is what wakes tyler up. he hears a light ringing noise, he squints his eyes, seeing the digits appear on the screen as his vision settles. josh. josh is calling.
tyler smiles, and runs a hand through his hair. he reluctantly presses the 'accept' button.
"tyler? oh tyler baby, i'm so sorry for not calling last night. i promise you that i would've if i could, my mom wasn't feeling well and i had to take her in. i'm so sorry baby."
tyler holds the ends of his sleeves with his hands, he shifts slightly, squinting a bit at the light still.
"it's fine." he says in a voice so quiet you could barely hear.
josh furrows his eyebrows, "what's wrong? is it about the call? i'm so sorry baby. i promise i would've called."
tyler shakes his head quickly, "it wasn't that," he whispers, "i'm just kind of tired."
josh nods slightly, trying to take in all the detail of tyler's blurry face.
"josh, we're going to get lunch, come along, dear."
"fuck, i have to go, i love you baby boy. more than anything. i'll call you back as soon as i can."
tyler nods, quickly wiping a stray tear that he didn't feel stream down his face.
"i love you"
"i love you too."
call ended 12:39
-
the fall feels like forever
and when he hits the water
he already knows.
I'm a goner.
-
tyler wakes up, beads of sweat lining his face. he can't sleep anymore. the voices. they attack him in his sleep. nothing is safe for him anymore. any safe place he ever had, had been ripped out of his hands and thrown to others. he has no one.
tyler had never been one for friends. he had never been one for relationships. and when he met josh, all that changed. it was extremely unorthodox, and josh noticed that.
but it's fine, it's fine, he insists. it has to be fine. for the sake of josh r has to be fine. he has to be fine.
tyler joseph killed a man.
a man that took everything from him. he will never be pure again. he has been ruined. and he killed him.
the man deserved it though, right? that's what he had been telling himself. and he was starting to doubt it. he has considered going to doctor beck to talk about it, but he doesn't want to make the poor man uncomfortable. he knows that's a hard topic for him. for the both of them.
how does someone bring that up? it's so incredibly difficult to bring up a topic as serious as that.
you don't.
YOU ARE READING
night - joshler
Fanfiction"i think back on things and see things in dark and light. every time i think about my house i imagine it being dark inside because it usually is, you know? everything's dark now." "then i know im going to be the first light you have in a while." ©️...
