Destiny ~ Book Two Of The "Meant to Be" Series

Epilogue

      *Tobias*

What we've experienced is unforgettable, but now it lays in the past. It's sad that we spent many years so roughly. I thought everything would be fine when Tris and Olivia were found, and were sure to be safe. But problems didn't just then. Tris was diagnosed with depression a few months later. She barely ate, had enough sleep, talked. I'd never seen her so quiet. It felt like she wasn't there. Sometimes she didn't listen, or maybe hear what others were saying. She just sat, blankly staring at the turned off television, or outside the window, or the floor. But I noticed she mostly stared at the scars on her wrists. The ones she had done the first time Eric had threatened her. I didn't know about them back then. She hid them from me, but no longer had to when I broke up with her once or twice. I still regret doing that in the first place, but I didn't know what was going through her head, what was going on.
      She and her parents moved back to Los Angeles. I visited every weekend, which I think costed 6000 dollars in total for the flight bookings, but I didn't care about money and I still wouldn't. I stayed at my father's house and brought Olivia with me, but he didn't hurt either of us. I made it clear to him that if he touches one of us ever again I would literally call the police on him. He hit me after I stated that, but I pushed him back, yelling in his face and finally saying the words I kept in for so long. He didn't bug me or Olivia anymore.
      She no longer hated me like she did when I first saw after her being locked three floors underground. The hatred in her eyes and her screams that night still haunt me. I fear that she'll hate me that way again. She no longer felt stressed or unsteady in my presence. In fact she felt the most comfortable with me, even though she never spoke, had any eye contact or anything. I just came by her house and we watched movies and TV shows. At first she sat far away from me, keeping her preferable distance, but day by day the gap between us shrank. I noticed her daring herself to approach me, but I always pretended I wasn't noticing. She'd awkwardly slide her body an inch or two closer, glancing at me frequently. There was always something going through her head. She was always thinking something, battling her own thoughts.
     On a winter weekday, around November, she knocked on my doorstep, in Chicago. She wanted to visit me and Olivia this time instead of the other way around, but she ended up moving here. She still had her aunt's house to herself, so she stayed there. She had the first year of College off the year she was in LA. She wasn't stable enough to start studying, so she had a long break. She didn't complain about it, but I know she didn't like it. Staying in home all day and constantly thinking of your problems and death isn't all that fun. But when she came in Chicago, she started "home schooling". She learned the same things she would of if she went at College, but at home.
      I still think LA would of been better for her in that time because it's always sunny there, and she doesn't like the cold. I wouldn't either if I were kept in a freezing room for more than a month, in the dark, alone, no food, no nothing. But she was willing to do that sacrifice to be closer to me. She didn't like saying things out loud or making them obvious, but she did like my company again. She wanted us to be closer and so did I.
       We spent everyday together. As always, we didn't talk much, but it was still great having her with me. Her presence always seemed to calm me and bright up my mood, and it still does. From goodbye hand waves, to handshakes, to hugs and finally kisses. Little by little everything is reached and everything you've been waiting for does happen if you have patience and will.
      I hadn't seen her smile or laugh for a long time, and when I asked her to go on a date with me (which was two years later she was diagnosed depressed) the whole room brightened when her lips curled into a beautiful smile I had totally forgotten what looked like. She clapped her hands on her mouth and leaned forward, hugging me. She nodded continually, and that scene teared me up to be completely honest. I hadn't seen her happier in years, and seeing her smile so widely after me asking her on a date is really something that couldn't go unnoticed.
Her and Olivia both kept their distance since their fight they had a week or two after Tris being released from the hospital. Olivia didn't like spending as much time with her and ignored her presence when we were hanging out together while Tris wouldn't speak at all. She'd just listen to our conversations and wander off. But I guess with time they managed to go back to normal.
    I also remembered about the birthday gift I was planning for her a few years ago, so I showed her the house that was then finally finished and we moved in. The house started building in June, and was supposed to be a late birthday for her, but she never got to see it that year. A wide smile curled on her lips as she went inside, taking a good look. If that would have been her reaction before, I would've think she hated it, but when I knew in what condition she was in, and that she never smiled or talked anymore, I knew she was beyond happy. She closed her eyes and sighed, standing on her tip toes and wrapping her arms around my neck tightly, her head laying on my shoulder. "Thank you," she croaked.
A year later everything started getting better again. She'd talk more, smile and joke, laugh and go out more often. She even moved back in with me. She started going back to her normal self but one day it all suddenly stopped. She just didn't answer at any of your questions, would stare at walls all day and barely eat. She cried in the night. I wasn't sure what was going on and she wouldn't tell me, until one day I came from work early and heard her talking to someone in our room. Her voice was hoarse and broke in every word she spoke. She was speaking on the phone and I heard her ask someone to accompany her the next day so she could go to the hospital. I opened the door to our room and she looked over her shoulder in panic, letting her phone down and wiping tears from her face while she pretended to fold clothes. She was hoping I hadn't heard anything, but I did.
"Why the hospital?" I asked, my voice shaking in fear.
      "I—I need to get my medicine re-checked from the doctor," she said quickly, stuttering, continuing to fold clothes in a fast pace.
       "Tris," I said in a more demanding voice, "tell me the truth." There was silence for a moment. She took a deep breath, closing her eyes and pressing her lips, trying to keep her sobs in. She faced me, placing her hand on her tummy. I was very confused. I didn't know if I was supposed to be happy or sad. I still didn't understand what exactly was going on. Obviously my first guess was that she was pregnant but why would she sad about that? I just stared at her in confusion, trying to figure out what the hell was happening. She opened her eyes, tears dripping down her cheeks immediately.
        "I need to—" she paused, staring at the floor, avoiding my eyes, "I need to get into dilation and curettage," she said weakly, trying to sound casual and not make it a big deal. But it was a big deal. She had a miscarriage and had to remove the baby. Not matter how much she tried to keep herself from crying again, she couldn't help it, and neither did I. She took a few seps back when I tried to approach her. "P–Please don't be mad," she blubbered, backing away from me. "I'm sorry, I didn't want to," she wiped her tears. It confused me why she apologized and why she was scared, but layer on she told me she was afraid I would leave or break up with her for two reasons: Getting pregnant in the first place, and then losing the baby, which are both stupid reasons to even be called reasons.
     It turns out she was almost a month pregnant and realized it a week. or two after. That's when she started to act differently. The baby died because Tris was too thin and barely ate for herself, so it could not grow as it usually would.
      That was the period of time I saw her the saddest in my entire life. She kept blaming herself for taking the life from someone.
One night I woke up and saw her sitting on the working table chair, holding and playing with something in her hands. She panicked when she noticed I had woken up. She got anxious and hid it in one of the drawers and slid back into bed with me immediately. When I asked her what she was doing she quickly replied "Nothing." The other morning when I woke up for work I checked the drawers. The only thing that caught my eye was a pencil sharpener, and the razor blade was loosened.
I checked her wrists while she was asleep. She was wearing long sleeves. When I pulled them up there were three or four fresh cuts. The other ones were just scars from years before. It was then that I realized history could repeat itself and I couldn't let that happen. She woke up a few moments later. She smiled, noticing her sleeves were up and pulling them down a little unnoticeably. "Good morning." It was also then when I realized how great of an actress she was. If I hadn't seen her new scars and the way she pulled them down immediately, pretending nothing was wrong, I would of never noticed she was faking it.
I talked her into getting a therapist and helping her with everything. She didn't want to, and always changed the subject when I brought it up, but I didn't leave her a choice when I woke up in the night, hearing her cry in the bathroom. She wouldn't even open the door to give me a chance to comfort her. When she would wear long sleeves in burning days, and would refuse to reveal her hands.
I got rid of literally every sharp object in our house, and kept the cooking knives away from Tris. Counted them every time I used them, to make sure they were all there, in the same order, and hid them from her. Olivia would complain when her pencils needed sharpening, and sometimes blame Tris for being 'such a wimp', and she'd say "Why would we sacrifice for her? If she wants to die so badly she could just do it now! It would be a relief for all of us!" And Tris did hear that. She was grounded for a really long time about that.
Tris locked herself in the bathroom and literally didn't open the door or got out until the next day's afternoon. It was easy for her to go days without eating a thing. From what I've heard, you lose appetite when you're depressed. You have no motivation to do anything. She wanted to spend time alone, but I didn't leave her alone. How could I? The next thing I would know if I hadn't taken a break from work and spent full time with her, plus sending her to the best therapist we could find, she would probably be dead by now.
At the time I was receiving calls from kid's parents and school teachers, telling me Olivia had been misbehaving and making fun of others, calling them names. Basically bullying, the way she was when she got kidnapped, but obviously she didn't beat people up, and lock them in rooms. She only called people names and taunted them, which wasn't acceptable at all. Tris and I (mostly I) had a talk with her, bringing up the way she was kept away, re-telling her the story and the way it made her and us feel. She stopped afterwards.
Tris then started having a fear that I would leave her, and break up with her. I'm not sure where she hot the idea of her being 'too much to handle' and 'hard to be with' due to her being depressed, but she really did think that. She started being stressed and nervous every time she was around me. She spoke quickly, in panic, and started keeping her distance again.
The only idea I had to prove her I really love her and I wasn't planning on leaving, was to propose. I was 23 and she was 21. That is a pretty young age to get engaged and decide who you want to spend the rest of your life with, but I've never been more sure about anything in my life.
So I did propose a month or two later. I still remember the look on her face, a mixture of confusion and happiness. She cried happy tears and nodded her head, burying her face in her hands and silently crying. I slid the ring on her finger and stood up, kissing her. She was confused about it all, because she was expecting me to break up with her, not ask her to marry me.
And now here we are. After everything we've been through. After all our problems faded and solved with time. Still together, but now two beautiful children accompany. Cassie's six and Mason just turned four. This is everything I could of asked for in life. It's the happiest I've been in ages. There is nothing I regret from the past. I'm glad and proud that I never gave up. That we never gave up. I can't imagine life without this incredible woman beside me, which makes me a better person. Makes me a whole. And our children, which are so wise and innocent. Olivia is now off to university across the country. She has a boyfriend which I haven't met yet, but with what she's told me about him, I think he's perfect for her.
This is what I fought for. This is why I decided I wanted to stay. Why I made that decision every single day. We have achieved what we worked so hard for. It all pated off. Tris still has melts downs, nightmares and cries in her sleep, but not that often. You don't see her faking or forcing smiles or laughs.
What makes me happiest is when we get woken up by Cassie and Mason jumping on our beds and showering us with kisses, telling us to get up. Waking up with laughs and giggles in the room. Waking up to see Tris smile brightly and tickle our children, every single morning. I never get bored of it. Never. It's joyful to see the people you love the most to have no worries. To be feeling pure happiness.
"I promised it would get better," I whisper in her ear, pressing my lips on her cheek as she closes her eyes and lightly chuckles, turning her head towards me.
"The last time you promised I didn't believe you," she says smiling, placing her hand on the side of my face and staring at me. Her eyes fill with tears and she leans forwards, kissing me passionately. She sniffles after she pulls back. "Thank you," her voice breaks, the way it does when she's about to cry. "Thank you for staying, and being patient and believing—" I pull her into my embrace, leaning her head on my shoulder. "I don't know where I would have been if I never met you," she hugs me tightly. "I love you so much," she cries. And I don't know how to respond but to keep a tight grip on the hug. Sometimes words are stupid, and don't manage to express yourself by them, but we understand each other without having to speak.
I don't know what the future has for us, but whatever it is I know we can make it. Together.

A/N
THIRD BOOK OF THE SERIES IS UP ON MY PROFILE! PLEASE CHECK IT OUT <3