CASUAL AFFAIR; brendon urie

Chapter Nineteen

I was probably doing something important before I heard the knocking on the door. Probably. But like I had a habit of doing - something that in my childhood had been classed as a thought pattern prone to wandering by the nicer ones, and a chronically idle mind by the others - I went off on a tangent about the knock itself.

It seemed like the knock of someone who had been thinking about it, deliberating as they weighed the pros and cons of what they were about to do, before thinking 'screw the consequences' and did it anyway. It was too heavy to be a women's knock, and far too assured, but it was considerably light for a man's. It kinda reminded me of Dallon's knock, but it couldn't have been, because Dallon had his orderly Bang-bada-bang-bang-bang. This seemed more ... haphazard.

Yeah, I was seriously over-thinking it.

I guess I could have had all the time in the world, and not a minute of it could have prepared me for who was on the other side of the door.

The first thing that came out of my mouth, regrettably enough, was a high pitched noise of surprise and a startled "Hey."

Brendon pulled his hands from out the pockets of his black fitted coat, scuffled his feet, laced his fingers together, and looked at me with eyes as wide as my own. One side of his mouth twitched, quirking in a sort of unconscious smile. "Hey."

I guess it was fate that every time I saw this man, I would be at a total loss of words, that I'd look hopelessly simple. "You're ..."

"I know." He nodded, butting the toe of his worn-looking converse against the ground twice, before setting it back in place.

"Oh ... boy." Like there was anything else I could say right then. I went to chew the inside of my lip - something of a defensive mechanism for me - but my tongue probed the still healing skin from when I'd bitten down whilst ... Oh, boy. "Um ... How's your hand?"

He held his palm out to me proudly, a blue band aid patterned with mini Pikachu's. "So, uh ... this might be a totally crazy thing for me to ask, but," he slumped against the doorway, gripping his elbows with his hands. "Can I come in?"

"Oh!" I blinked, before opening the door further, and waving a hand. "Of course. Yeah."

"Y'know," Brendon said, pressing his tongue into his lower jaw to make it jut out a little, before speaking again. "That little rational part of me thought you might just say no."

I fell with a little hmpf against the wall as I kicked the door shut after him. "Tell me - how right is the little rational part usually?"

"More than I care to admit." He twisted one leg around, followed by the rest of him to face me again. "I guess it's just lucky that it wasn't this time." He grinned triumphantly.

I don't quite know why, but I found myself wanting to contradict the self-assured victory in that smile. "Well, I could always change my mind."

Brendon grinned wider. "But you won't." He didn't say it like a question - he said it because he knew that it was true. And damn him, it was. I knew, and he knew, that he was right about it, but did he have to make it seem like such a ... thing?

"So..." I pushed myself off, and caught up with him, directly behind his back, which when next to it, just made me feel incredibly small. "You're here. But shouldn't you be, like, in the studio writing or recording new songs, or something?"

Brendon paused, nearly causing me to collide into his back - again - before he half-turned, and this time, he was the one who slumped his back on the wall. He pushed his hair back all the way with one hand, before he let it flop back down, and ran that hand down his throat. I wanted to run my hand down that throat. "I guess or something." He drummed his fingers on one of his legs. I noticed then just how tired he looked, with the threat of shadows underneath his eyes, his unshaven chin, and just his general posture. "Your brother..."