A Moment to Feel

What You Didn't Know.

Stop it, shut up, you don't even know what you're talking about, do you realize what you're saying?

The things I want to tell you everytime I talk to you.

I love you with all my heart. Your everything to me. Without you, I feel like nothing. I need you more than air. To me you are perfect. You're the only thing I crave.

The things I hold back from telling you.

I love you. I always miss you. You're important to me. I love talking to you. Your voice makes me smile. You're my amazing knight. You changed my life. You can always make me laugh. You know just what to say. You have my heart.

The things you already know, but what about the things you don't know?

I wear my heart on my sleeve. I'm not always strong. My smile isn't always real. My eyes don't light up with life, they are lite by hope, that one day somebody might actually care. I don't always want to talk to you because it hurts me. I get upset easily, especially when you act like you could care less about me. You don't always listen to me and I get agitated. When we fight, that's when I let my walls down. I'm not perfect, by any means, and I'm different, always have been. I have my imperfections just like everyone else, mine is just perfectly noticeable. I grew up wanting to be normal. I still dream of the day that I'll look like everyone else. I'm super sensitive.

You helped me dream big.and now that your gone, I don't know if I can dream anymore.

Did you know your existence, had this big of an impact me? Probably not. That's why I'm letting you know before I tell you something else.

Goodbye.

The one thing that kills me. The one thing that makes me feel alone. The one thing that makes me die inside. The one thing I don't want to say to you ever. The one thing that I wish you would stop me from saying.

Goodbye, because I've lost you, haven't I? Goodbye, because I'm not your princess anymore, am I? Goodbye, because I never really was your soul mate, was I? Goodbye, because I can't take the pain of being in love with a man, who can't be mine.

Am I wrong? Or did I figure it all out?

Please tell me I've gotten it wrong, tell me you feel the same as I. Say we can get over this. Say I'm yours. Say something other than goodbye.

Don't tell me you were glad to have met me, please don't say that you're happy you got the chance to know me. Don't tell me you're sorry for hurting me. Please just say you need me too. Please don't walk out of my life.

If you must go away, tell me the truth before you do. No matter how harsh.

Tell me you hate me. Tell me it was all just a game. Tell me everything was a lie. If that's what it is, say it. I'm a big girl, I can handle it.

Just don't leave without a word. Don't go away without a goodbye to the girl who found something good in you, even when you were putting me down. To the girl who loved you and your flaws.

Say something to this girl, who thought she had your heart, even if all you can say is,

Goodbye.

~JescaRose.