A Moment to Feel

This is me. I'm done hiding it.

My name is Jessica Rose Sequin and I was born on February 3, 1994. I went all through my elementary years believing that I was just like everyone else. Equally like all my friends. My name is Jessica Rose Sequin and I'm not perfect. People think that I'm happy just because I'm always smiling and laughing and making others do the same. But that does not mean that I am happy. I'm not! I'm not sure I'll ever be. I was in 8th grade when I fully realized just how different from everyone I truly was. My name is Jessica Rose Sequin and I have Alopecia Areata. For those who don't know what it is...Alopecia Areata (AA) is a medical condition in which hair is lost from some or all areas of the body but usually from the scalp because it causes bald spots on the scalp. My scalp is the only area affected. As a baby, my hair never got the chance to fully grow in. And it still hasn't. It grows long fast, just not thick. It's not contagious and I'm not sick. But people still find it as something that is funny and worth making fun of. I don't find it funny. My name is Jessica Rose Sequin and I just don't understand. Trust me, in a way I get it...it's disgusting. Just looking into a mirror is a struggle. I can't stand the sight of myself. I hate being ugly. For once in my life, I would love to be beautiful, really beautiful, truly beautiful. But with only some hair how can I be? I hate the way I look, and I don't know how to accept it, how to love myself anyway, how to get over it, or how to find myself beautiful. I dream of being normal. Just putting my hair in a ponytail and still looking completely normal. How do I deal with myself? My name is Jessica Rose Sequin and I despise myself. Others have this worse than I do, some people have no hair at all and I'm still sitting here hating myself for having little. What's wrong with me? How can I be that selfish? I don't know exactly but I think it because I can't take being different anymore. I can't take the feelings of jealousy when I see a cute hairstyle that I will never get the chance to try, or a hair color I'll never get to have. After almost 18 years it gets old. I'll always look the same because I can't change anything but the length of my hair. My name is Jessica Rose Sequin and I can't take this pain anymore. From people saying things...Friends, Family, Strangers, and My own mind. I just hurt too much. And I don't know anybody who would understand how I feel or what I've been through. I've always wanted to meet another girl with the same disease. Especially now. I feel completely alone. My name is Jessica Rose Sequin and I'm more scared and lost than ever. I'll continue trying to stay strong and trying to finally come to terms with this but I don't know how it'll go and if things will ever change. And just to make this known, I have never talked about this problem with really anyone, not even myself, until now. So this is really hard for me. My name is Jessica Rose Sequin and I'm not asking for anything other than support from somebody. Thank you. Cheers to the end of this secret and to the beginning of something hopefully big, my new future! <3

*Everything written in this is fully true and personal, nothing was made up or tweaked because this is me and I'm done hiding it(:*

~JescaRose~

****So somehow a while ago this had gotten deleted. A horrible accident on my part. I somehow drafted it, even though it was already part of the book.I don't really know. But I happened to notice it and have now fixed it. So this part is back!:D****