Power Rangers: Ottoman Force (Book Two)

1: Lost Hope

Adrian

    I looked at myself in the mirror. It was hard to believe that two years had already passed, and every single moment that passed, I missed Troy. It was also hard to believe how much my own visage had changed. I actually had facial hair, a light beard and a light mustache, which I barely had when I was sixteen.

    I looked over the Istanbul horizon, noticing how the lights from the First Bosphorus Bridge that connected both the Asian and European sides of Istanbul, shined against the darkness of the night. It was a beautiful sight, and for sure I had to admit that Istanbul was a magical city. Still, even after having been living here these last two years, it was hard for me to enjoy the scenery or the fact that I was living here. I still had that dark cloud looming over me, making me feel like I was perhaps doomed to never being happy ever again.

    Thinking about it more clearly, I couldn't remember the last time I was actually happy. It had been so long now, it was hard to even envision or remember the moment I last felt that way.

    "Hey, what are you doing still up?" asked my cousin Ana Leticia.

    "Nothing, just unable to sleep."

    "Listen, I know losing Troy hasn't been easy for you. But I'm sure he would want you to be happy."

    "Honestly, I can care less what he would think" I said harshly, which made her frown. "I'm sorry, I'm still a little too sensitive when talking about it."

    "Is that the reason you never so much as mention his name ever?"

    "It is."

    "I'm sorry, maybe I'm making it worse."

    "No, I think I'm the one making it worse for myself."

    "I know it's hard to move on, but just know that Troy is always going to be with you. I'm sure he's never going to abandon you, even if he's not here physically."

    "Well even if he is here with me, the fact that I can't see or speak to him, is just not good enough for me."

    She stopped prying into this conversation, because regardless of how much she was trying to help, it was not doing me any good. I still felt Troy was around, and even though I did not feel him inside me the way I did before, his very essence still haunted me. It was like regardless of him being gone from this world, we were still linked or perhaps bonded. That was impossible in so many ways because he was gone, and him being gone would sever such a bond.

I did not understand why this was still bothering me so much. I was desperate to just get him out of my head, wanting to forget that he was even my brother. The only way for me to be able to fully let go of this pain and anger, was if I erased all memory I had of him. I did not want to desire that, but the pain was too unbearable even after all this time that I simply did not want to know who he was anymore.

    Ana Leticia left my room, and I closed the window and lied down. I dimmed my lamp, and pulled my iPhone. I looked at the app that enabled me to gain access to the morphing grid to be able to morph into the Saif Ranger. I continued wondering how things got so messed up, and what force in this universe actually chose my mom, dad, brother, and even me to become power rangers.

    My mom became the Pink Ghazi Ranger when she was seventeen. My dad was probably around the same age when he took on the role of the Green Turbo Ranger, and then the Black Space Ranger after Divatox destroyed the command center.

    Even at that age, my mom and dad faced these challenges as warriors who fought to protect the world from evil. They as well as Troy, had the courage and the strength to be able to courageously live with this, yet somehow I did not feel like I had the courage and strength that they had. I felt so inferior to them, but especially to Troy. He was super in every way, and knew how to lead with courage. I knew that I might never be like him, which was why I did not even bother to try. I would fail regardless of how hard I tried.