so far away | yoonkook

night : 08

iseul is cute, yoongi tells himself once they're—but mostly he is—walking down the stretch to get to the nearest bus stop.

it's quite late, quite not since gangnam only comes alive in the heart of the evening.

some of very few establishments are just about done preparing for the wave of night visitors and spectators while others are already fully set up with lights turned up to their brightest and music blaring from waist high speakers to attract the evening goers.

it's a hectic environment that causes yoongi's pulse rate to heighten.

as they pass by shops and bars, yoongi finds himself recalling the conversation he had with namjoon in the park again.

what else did you leave behind? namjoon's words do a little crescendo in his head like a single drumbeat that leaves physical throbs on the inside of his skull.

namjoon's mumbling incoherent verses under yoongi's arm, his feet stumbling beneath him and his companion.

it doesn't help either, that namjoon's practically six feet tall and yoongi's shorter than the average seoul boy. his limbs can't keep up with namjoon's own as the younger's basically sluggishly dragging them behind him.

yoongi tries his best to not fall or else he'll drag both of them down. having a drunkard on the floor is just too much for yoongi to handle alone, especially a tall and heavy drunkard such as namjoon. it'll take time hoisting him up, with the added weight he'll put on because of the alcohol in his veins.

yoongi tries to focus on the set plan.

just get namjoon safely onto the bus and the rest will take place smoothly.

now, vehicles pass them by as yoongi manages to take them out the previous stretch and onto the main road. a few steps further, he'll be able to make it to the pedestrian and hopefully tough up some more to get them safely across. then the rest will take place smoothly.

but...

but it doesn't.

it's not that easy.

never so easy when the load is placed on him. on yoongi.

the next thing he knows, his eyes are burning and his nose is itching and his cheeks are flaring and his head hurts.

he didn't have enough to drink.

he should've gotten drunk too.

but  if he did, who would take them home then?

he didn't know anyone else who lived nearby and was willing enough to drive this far. the real choi haneul, one of yoongi's cousins, wouldn't even take a short reprimanding from any of their aunts for him, let alone do favors as big as this for him. he's lost contact with ki jaeseung, his old middle school friend, a few years back and doesn't even know if he still lives in the same neighborhood.

yoo kihyun, jung kwan, lee changwoo, none of these names have any value to him anymore nor do they have any value for yoongi either.

why was he even crying? why was he suddenly so sad? why, why, why did he feel so lost and unfitted and weak?

namjoon falls asleep when yoongi lays him down on the bench in front of a convenience store.

he's still wearing namjoon's jacket and overcoat and it's cold out and it seems like the younger's struggling to get some heat so yoongi slides out of the grey jacket and black coat and layers them both on top of namjoon. kim tilts his head to the side, bobbing slightly and begins wheezing.

when yoongi looks up, he discovers that a black minivan had parked in front of them.

yoongi can't take his attention away from his reflection.

he's standing there with his complexion unmistakably pale against the blue of his sweater. this very sweater, the one hoseok loves so much and has grown rather akin of seeing yoongi in, makes yoongi's eyes water even harder. because he misses the scent that it used to contain, misses the weather it used to soak in, misses how it felt warmer when hoseok grazed his hand against his back as he touched it and asked yoongi if he could have it.

yoongi always shook his head and said no.

it's frustrating that everything else he's willed himself to forget comes back to taunt him no matter what he does.

and it's even more frustrating to find out that he'd been willing to forget the one thing he thought he would never wish to let go.

"yoongi hyung?"

yoongi brings his head down and smacks his palms against his face but the pain doesn't suffice for an actual lesson. he's still breathing so that must mean he's not doing enough to realize his faults.

"hey, yoongi hyung."

tears seep between his fingers and from this angle he could see the fallen droplets land onto the concrete beneath his feet, making a pattern of dots across the ground.

"min. yoon-gi. hyung."

"what the fuck do you want?"

then he sees the kid with the round eyes and dark hair, his hands full with plastic bags.

"I could use some help with these." he says, his voice light and oozing with youth. he doesn't smile, just his eyes maybe. they sparkle like stars on a clear night.

he's not his usual domineering self. he looks wary but not curious, kind but not so demure.

and yoongi just wants to throw himself at him and embrace him forever because the one thing that really, really represents him is the one thing that yoongi's been seeking all along.

warmth.

he looks so warm and so inviting.

what even is his name?

the kid glances to his left and sees his namjoon hyung sleeping snuggly under about six layers of clothing and chuckles a bit. the sound he does makes yoongi's heart skip a beat or two.

"we can go home together." he says, lowering one of the bags to the floor and extending his arm so yoongi can take his hand.

yoongi lets the air hang for a moment and the time between them builds. he takes the boy's hand and...

and...

it suddenly feels less cold out.