so far away | yoonkook

night : 32

"so, which is more plenty? stars or the grains of sand?" yoongi uses his hands to support himself as he sat. the blades of grass feel like rigid silk ribbons between his fingers and the breeze feels like far away wishes whispering greetings onto his skin.

hoseok lies beside him, arms beneath his head, eyes fixed onto the sky.

yoongi came by hoseok's house whenever he liked. but hoseok held no grudges for his hyung's untimely visits. he really had no control over it, actually. whether it was sunset, dusk, midnight, or twilight, it didn't matter, hoseok was more than willing to let him in.

"hyung, if in this galaxy the number of stars can merely be approximated, then imagine in other galaxies. how many more stars would exist in a place we haven't traveled to yet?" the younger doesn't tear his gaze away from the shows of nightfall.

"you know, someday, your being a smart ass will get you killed." yoongi sits up and crosses his legs, eyes moving to look at the brunet located to his left.

"stephen hawking's not dead yet, though."

"you're admitting that you're a smart ass then?"

hoseok chuckles. "since you've mentioned it, maybe it's true." he lifts himself up from his initial place and mimics yoongi's position. hoseok sets his elbows onto his thighs and rests his chin onto his palms, regarding the elder.

and it makes yoongi wonder how many times he'd actually seen hoseok in this light.

how many times did yoongi notice all his freckles, both big and small, adorning his skin like constellations littering the firmament? how many times had he noticed the strands that fall over his eyes, some streaks longer than others, some curling at the ends and some darker than most? the way joy never leaves his eyes, the way his lips tell stories he wouldn't let utter, the way he carries out his breathing as if it were an art in itself?

hoseok thinks that there are fewer grains of sand than there are stars. it's an argument yoongi could not refute. because yoongi thinks that he's right.

how could he not be, when in his eyes alone, yoongi notices the way these luminous bodies are given birth. in his eyes, yoongi notices the way gas and energy fuse together to give life to a stellar entity.

someday, yoongi would build magnificent meanings for this boy's name, for each of the syllables to serve its rightful justice. honor the beauty in his label. he would write it on every stone, carve it on every tree, tattoo it on the very center of his heart despite knowing he'll always remember him.

"I want you to never forget what you've told me so that when we're older, I can take you up the roof of our house and we'd do this again."

"why?"

"so I'll go, 'which is more plenty? the grains of sand or the stars in the sky?' and you'll answer me the same way you did just now and I'll go, 'good observation. but, concrete things are subjected to limitation whereas abstract things-'" yoongi glances at the sky a while. " '-don't have a beginning or an end, they were always just there, they can grow or shrink depending on someone's decision.' " and back to hoseok.

"what are you getting at?"

this right now, hoseok, this doesn't have a beginning or an end.

this has always been just here, like the universe's always been ours.

I'll decide if I think this lessens or not.

it doesn't, though. this doesn't shrink, this just keeps expanding,
develops, gets bigger.

especially since this involves you.

nothing involving you ever contracts. it's always more, more, more.

"my point is simpler to decipher than mathematics, hoseok. easier than elementary analogy." yoongi cocks a brow, grinning knowingly. but he'd never wish to come off as arrogant. yoongi would never want hoseok to feel inferior when he knows he deserves all the care in the world.

hoseok rolls his eyes. "easy for you to say. I don't keep up with this type of intellectual crap and you know that."

and it amazes yoongi how hoseok would say such things when in fact they were the two smartest kids in class.

yoongi decides to play along. "you're even lazier than I thought."

"fuck off, hyung."

the blond tries to stifle a laugh. "great use of honorifics."

"but you mentioned that you'll take me up the roof of 'our' house? how soon are we going to be able to live together?" hoseok drops a palm onto yoongi's knee and squeezes slightly.

there are days when yoongi wished he could drag the minutes longer and get by with little care towards the actual world. because the one he lives in with hoseok feels like a dream, the utopia, the heaven that he doesn't see himself ascending into once he died.

heaven is here, heaven is now.

he wished that his life consisted of merely answering hoseok's questions and feeling his warmth scuttling through his skin.

the elder moves his hand and places it over the younger's. "sooner than tonight should pass. I promise."

because yoongi's planning to consume the succeeding days he has left wrapped up in a cocoon of hoseok's voice.

he will marry his heart and make love with his mind and all the while they will exchange reasons why the stars and sands yield no worth when their bound together by the subject of ever expanding abstracts.