so far away | yoonkook

sundown : 14

it's five thirty when jungkook leaves, six o'clock when yoongi goes outside and joins namjoon at the deck.

just finished lighting a cigarette, namjoon's cheeks hollow in the act of breathing in the smog. yoongi doesn't watch as he blows the smoke out his mouth after he preserves it for a moment. he turns his head to the open ground beneath them, sees evening goers coming in and walking out of their units instead.

the garden lamps are on, apartment windows either die out of artificial luminosities or come alive for the evening. people settle on their front steps and make small talk, others stay on the benches present on the mini park inside the complex.

namjoon's fag burns bright and sparks fall down onto the ground level as he flicks the stick on the edge of the railing.

"tell me about jungkook." yoongi says, folding his arms. he's in one of his plain grey sweaters, the overcoat namjoon lent him the other night adding extra warmth to his shoulders.

the look namjoon gives him makes him uneasy, his fingers worrying a loose thread at the cuff of the coat.

"I knew his parents." namjoon drags the 's' before consuming the fag halfway and holds it between his pointer and middle finger.

"I knew his biological parents, to be exact. kid lived with his relatives for six months or so after his mother died."

yoongi's lips purse but it's not anything related to the skin chapping.

"she had a nervous breakdown. couldn't pull through after reoccurring nightmares. father's status? mentally ill and warded in busan's psychiatric institute. ever heard of intermittent explosive disorder, hyung?"

he shakes his head at namjoon.

"it's some fucking ugly shit. kid received beatings because of that. one moment, he's arriving home from school all smiles and still has two very capable limbs, and in the next, he's being bound to a chair, taking slaps and blows and kicks for what? for burning the casserole? for breaking the showerhead? no. for breathing in his father's direction. by the end of the night, he's barely recognizable. when I saw him the first time after his aunt called me up and told me he'd be my responsibility for a while, I couldn't believe her when she said the kid sitting on her couch was my childhood buddy."

namjoon flicks the stick to the ground and extinguishes the light with his heel.

"it took me months trying to convince him to speak up. a year begging him to eat. a year and a half talking him out of his vices and the remaining days looking up alternatives for whenever he hurt himself. and now I'm just trying to be nice to him, make him happy."

yoongi swallows.

"d'you know he told me what happened last night?" namjoon doesn't face yoongi even though he's aware that the elder is looking at him. he simply stares at his nails, could see the ashes of a dead cigarette staining his skin, could see the sickness catching on to him.

"I hope you understand that what you said could've triggered him but it didn't. he told me he cried. he told me you cried when he found you. and I don't know what you're doing to him or what else you've been telling him or showing him but I cannot let you break him." this time, namjoon turns his head, his face half-washed with rays of a growing dusk.

"hyung, you might be struggling but you can't let that hate or sadness infect this kid. he's growing now."

namjoon walks to yoongi and drops a hand onto his shoulder.

"and you should too." he says before he brings his head down, begins to leave, and enters their shared unit. he didn't even take the time to hear what yoongi wanted to say.

but after that, yoongi feels his words wouldn't heed any worth in the end anyway.

———

oh shit, gotta 🚀