so far away | yoonkook

sundown : 39

"back already?" iseul sits beside yoongi on the steps to the backdoor. she's already dressed for work, legs clad in black stockings, a dark purple dress clinging to her body.

she offers yoongi a gummy bear from the packet she's been picking at, but yoongi doesn't so much as glance her way.

she sighs. "you know, I had a huge crush on you, like, weeks before. I don't know why I'm telling you this. I just feel like you should be aware and stuff." she pops another sweet into her mouth, turning her head to face the open ground in front of them.

"I'm sorry about that." yoongi busies his hands, fiddling with his fingers.

"oh, don't be. it was fun while it lasted." iseul rests her head on yoongi's shoulder for a moment, catching his attention.

he nearly flushes.

"so why are you here again? I'm sorry, I didn't quite catch your reason."

"I thought I'd just swing by to say, see you around." his eyes meet hers.

the silence drifts longer than yoongi would've wanted, neither of them breaking the gaze they hold so dearly on each other.

for the first time, yoongi notices the light ring of color around iseul's pupil. it isn't intimidating, just bright enough for him to spot without the help of the sun shining directly on her.

then she turns away, swallows the piece of sweet in her mouth, and exhales. not sighs. she's not exasperated or relieved for the matter.

"wow." her brows rise. "you're so dramatic it hurts my ego. I can't act like you do."

"I don't know what I'm doing, iseul. honestly, it feels like I'm just flinging myself around, to wherever the wind wants to take me." there's a sadness in his voice that he can't excuse himself from. it echoes in the empty space behind the bar's main scope.

they both know iseul should be within working premises by now, but she decides to drag the remaining seconds as yoongi's company along.

"I can't give you advice that I'm a hundred percent sure will help you." iseul sets the bag of gummies between them and places both hands on her kneecaps. "but I think there's always time for self-discovery. maybe this is your turn." she breathes. "I guess you've been having it pretty rough lately."

yoongi tips his head the opposite direction, gaze lowering.

"the world is so vast, yoongi. you shouldn't limit yourself to things you've grown comfortable with, especially if you don't know what it is you really want yet. let's say you wanna find love in the maldives, then fly to the maldives. wanna learn cosmology? enroll yourself to a program. wanna help someone? be a volunteer in a nursing home. they're always looking for people there."

she takes his hand and rubs his fingers gently.

yoongi stares where their hands are joined. her fingers look nothing like the boy with jet-black hair's pudgier ones.

"we're all trying to find someone or something that'll rescue us and it's not always that we'll be given this wish. sometimes, all we really have is ourselves. it's not such a bad thing, though."

"because being alone doesn't always mean that you're lonely." he mumbles. uttering these words makes him sniffle.

"you've gotten really soft." iseul lets his hand go.

"aish." he scrunches his nose. "you talk like we've known each other for years."

"I don't need to know much about you to find out what's happening up in that noggin."

yoongi chuckles. "did I give too much away?"

"just enough." iseul smiles heartedly. "I mean, I'm not sure if I'm ready for you to tell me anything further."

"maybe someday."

maybe.

he looks at her, full-on, eyes kind, grin wide, catching that silent approval when she nods subtly.

she's also hopeful. she had yoongi to thank for this interest after all.

a type of fondness that was neither romantic nor filial.

she sees him the way she sees a sunset. low glow of a fire slowly being extinguished. she wouldn't put it as transient, because the sun disappears and comes back every time. he's just there, a message away. that silent flame burning inside him, beautiful fire, natural light, quiet lullaby of day's ending reverberating in his chest. the type of phenomena that she appreciated so much she wished to preserve it rather than capture it for herself, hopeful that it stays the same for future generations to be able to bask upon its beauty, the genuineness still captured in its existence by then.

someday, sure, they'll meet again. yoongi tells her to take his word for it.

sure, iseul says. sure.

and when he leaves, the day runs after him in hasty steps. she enters through the back door and she's back to her home. the place she's known for so long. the sun setting in the east coast.