Martin Garrix Imagines

He sees your scars

   -I know you've been hurt by someone else-

Past is past. What happened in the past stays in the past. This is what you always tell to yourself.

Your life was quite a mess, until Martin came into your life. Martin was the first person after that time, who was able to show you that you are loved and your life is worth it.
He didn't only show you, that he loves you, he also showed you that you love yourself the way you are.

Though you two have been dating for almost a whole year long, you never really told Martin about your past. You feared that your past would only act as a deterrent.
This is why you decided not to tell him about your self hate and self harm.

Your POV:
It's a tuesday evening, after some time of not seeing each other, you are finally reunited again. You and Martin are having the fun of your lives. While watching Breaking Bad, you start teasing him, not letting him watch TV.
As revenge Martin pushes you on the couch and starts tickling you. He knows that you hate it, since its your biggest weakness.
Just at the slightest touch you would already burst out laughing.

"Martijn stop!", you laugh uncontrollably and try to tickle him too, but you fail.
"Fiiiine.", Martin sings and tickles you even more now.
"Stop it.", you laugh and slap his arm.
"Ouch!", he yells and tickles you again.
Laughing you put your hands on his chest and try to push him off you.
Before you realize it the sleeve of your hoodie slips at your rapid movements, revealing the scars you've always tried to hide from him.
Hoping that he didn't see it you want to pull your sleeve down again, but Martin stops you.

Not willing to meet Martin's eyes you look at the ground, your breath hitching in your throat in this awkward moment.
You feel Martin holding your arm gently, without looking at him you can tell that his eyes are on your forearm, that's covered with scars.

Suddenly something cold drips on your arm, leading you to finally look up.
You see a tear rolling Martin's cheek down, what makes your stomach churn in the worst way.
"Why?", he croaks and a further tear escapes his eye.
You try to say something, but the words won't come out. You feel like you are not able to say a single word.
"Why are you hurting yourself? Did I do something wrong?", he asks louder now, but his voice cracks in the end and he starts crying without trying to hold it back anymore.

For a moment you feel overstrained, you didn't want to make him cry. Seeing him like this breaks your heart, you've never seen him crying before. The worst is you did this to him.
You should have told him about it, he shouldn't have found it out this way.
Guilt takes over you and you start crying too.
"Martijn-I-it's-not-your-fault", you sob, reaching for his hand.
"Then please tell me why you hurt yourself.", he asks taking your hand in his.
"I used to hurt myself, but this is long ago.", you start and bring your hands to Martin's face, wiping his tears away. You close your eyes for a moment, preparing yourself to bring back the painful memories.

"Before I met you, I had a boyfriend. I thought that he's the love of my life until I caught him betraying me with another girl. When I asked him, why he did this he said that I am not worth it, that I never meant something to him. I was blind and stupid, I could never forget his words. I started blaming myself, that he betrayed me. I hated myself, I thought that this would make me feel better and it somehow did. When I met you, I started feeling different. I finally understood that this what I did wasn't okay. I understood that self harm is not the solution. The more I got to know you, the better I felt and at a certain point I stopped hurting myself. I haven't done it for whole 7 months now and I promise you that I won't do it again. You were my remedy and I am so happy that you came in my life.", you say trying to hold back the tears. It wasn't easy telling him about this, but you feel much better now, since there are no secrets anymore.

"Why didn't you tell me about it?", he asks hurt.
"I was afraid that you might think that I am insane and that you would break up with me.
I just didn't want to lose you. I've already lost too many people in my life. I couldn't take it losing you too.", you answer and the tears stream down your face again.
Instead of getting an answer you feel Martin's soft lips pressed against yours, making your stomach flutter at this pleasant feeling.

"Don't you ever think that I will leave you. I am not like this idiot of boyfriend you had. I love you, with or without scars. This is a part of you, you shouldn't hide it.", he tells you, wiping your tears away.
"Thank you.", you simply say and hug him.
"For what?"
"For being the best boyfriend ever.", you explain and close your eyes, enjoying the hug that means so much to you...