A Little More You

Chapter 20

Chapter 20

"So, Rovie. Why are you here again?"

"Well, I thought we haven't spoken in a while Cameron. And besides, I don't want you to feel uncomfortable from the deadly glares Riley will be shooting if we sit there."

Cameron and I are eating lunch together. I have been trying to dodge at a very sensitive topic. Ever since the incident at the ball, students are even more judgmental, spreading false stories that can make others (specifically me) feel bad about oneself.

Even my friends keep bugging me about Connor and I's friendship status, which is kinda annoying and confusing. So that's why I decided to avoid them for a while. Riley, as always, still talks to me, but I only give him short satisfying answers. He's really persistent. Until one day he decided to stop asking me same old questions every waking day. Jessa and Kiamy, they knew how sensitive I am when it comes to the ball. So when the three of us talk, it was like we're acquaintances, and not close friends. I know they have been careful about the words that might come out from their mouths. Thus, they became distant. Or I did.

My new friend seems to hate of how I acted. To him it's so immature and overly dramatic. And you know what I think, the happy-go-lucky Cameron changed to a Lonewolf type of guy. And I still don't know what happened between Connor and him right when I walked out at both of them at the ball. Ever since that, it has been like Cameron is being so cold towards me. And one thing, Cameron eats alone every lunch because he has a new image. That bad boy thing. But clingy as I am, I decided to join him, even though he's pretty much annoyed about it.

I heard him sigh, "First of all, I eat alone. Second, is this another scheme of yours to avoid your friends?"

I nearly choked at his question, "N-No. Why would you say that?"

"I'm not even going to answer that right now, because I know you already know what I mean." He retorted.

"Cam, I just-"

"Save it, Rovie." I was taken aback at his sudden response. I looked at him with eyes widened. He pinched the bridge of his nose and added, "Look, whatever it is going on between you and Connor, fix it. Or talk about it, or whatever it is you two do. Because I don't want to be any part of it, Rovie. Don't hide like a coward just because he gave you a stupid kiss."

With those words, he took his lunch and head out the cafeteria.

I was left alone with his blunt words aiming straight to my heart. It was like he was hurt when he told me those things, but at the same time, it's like he needed to do it.

Looking at my lunch, I don't feel hungry anymore. I glanced at my usual table, I saw a cheery Toby, waving at me. The rest of my friends, including Connor, turn their heads to face me. They all gave me a sad smile. While Connor gave me a blank look. Riley gestured me to come sit with them.

I thought, maybe this is the time where I apologize to them, where I ask Connor every single thing that I have in mind. I started to stand from the table. Riley's smile grew when he saw me making my way to their table. But when my eyes landed to Connor's it was as if he wants to put me in a sack and throw me to the ocean. So I hault. Turn around and went out of the cafeteria instead.

God I'm such a chicken.

******

All of my classes ended. I'm glad I survived today. I have never been so lonely in my entire life.

Cameron is right.

I think I acted immature and overly dramatic just because Connor gave me a stupid kiss. But I know it can't be nothing to him. I can't spend the rest of my life hiding into something Connor did. And I know I hurt him from what I told him after his confession, and I hurt myself even more.

I sat in my car, thinking what to say to Connor.

"Con, about what I said. I sounded like a stupid insensitive child that I am... no, no. Something that doesn't make me sound like an idiot.

Think, Rovie.

Connor. Suuuup? About the other night... wait that sounded like I just got laid. Eck.

Connie. I just... I am sorry. I... I didn't know what got into me when I said that. You don't deserve it. I feel bad about everything. I know you're a whole better person. (I paused smiling to myself, thinking about our moments spent together)

You're right when you said that I have been judgmental and about me pretending that no one asked me out. I guess I'm just a coward. Sure you're cute and everything, sure I like you... but you see-"

"I'm cute, and everything?"

I jumped seeing Connor smiling, leaning against the window of my car. And how stupid could I get that I didn't close the window?

"C-Connor. H-Hi. I was just-"

"You don't need to explain everything. I understand you."

"I truly am sorry."

"I'm sorry, too. For rushing. I thought it was the perfect timing."

I didn't want to add more so I just looked at him. He smiled at me, making my heart accelerate again. I look down to hide the blush.

"Rj, you better see your friends. They miss you."

"I will."

"And we'll talk more later." He said with a wink before he walks to his car.

"Later?" I thought out loud.

Then my phone vibrates. I opened to see Connor's face and message pop up.

Yes, later. I'll be calling you when you get home. Drive safe.

Here goes my heart again.

I didn't know it was that easy to talk to him. I made it hard. I made things complicated. Why am I so dumb sometimes?

Oh well. At least we're okay now. At least every thing seems to be falling back in place.

And yes. I have been thinking about it lately. Of all the hate and the quality time we spent, I didn't realize I am slowly falling for Satan's spawn.

I think I'm ready to love. But I don't know if I can waste another year if ever ge asks me to be his officially.

Oh god listen to me, I sound so assuming.