Dark Skies

The fear I possess

The scars on my skin were made by him.

The voice in my head was his  voice.

The fear I possessed was caused by him.

The person I saw when I closed my eyes was him.

But now he  was gone.

And I was left with nothing more than memories that couldn't be replaced or made right.

I was stuck with this.

This version of Min Yoongi that only I saw, who only I was haunted by.

Now he was gone and I wasn't sure how I felt.

Alone, Confused, Afraid, In denial

Safe

For the first time in a long time Min Yoongi couldn't get to me. He couldn't get to me ever again.

But the thing I was most afraid of was missing him. Because no matter how hard I tried, I couldn't push away the good memories. The good memories sometimes overshadowed the bad ones, and when they did I found myself wishing I could have him back. Not the paper copy of Min Yoongi but the real version. The version of himself he was too scared to show.

***

I stepped out into the cold air, wrapping my arms around my body for comfort more than warmth. The street was silent and the only source of light I had emitted from my phone. Holding it up in front of me, I braced myself for the long walk home. It had to be past midnight, I hadn't planned on staying this late but I had lost track of time. I didn't know whether it was him or the movie we were watching that I was so interested in. All I could focus on was making sure I didn't make any wrong moves. Half of the time I tried to forget that he was even there, tried to blur out my surroundings. But the sound of his breathing and the warmth radiating from his body was too much to ignore. He didn't talk much, though. Maybe he was engrossed in the movie or maybe he was pretending, like I was. But he spoke now , his voice low.

"Are you sure you don't want me to walk you home?"

I turned around to face him. He was leaning up against the doorframe, looking at me with his eyebrows raised. He wore ripped, black skinny jeans and a low cut top revealing his pale skin. My breath hitched in my throat and I looked away, blushing.

"I'll be fine" I spoke, turning away from him. Looking at him for too long was painful because it made me want things I knew I couldn't have. I didn't like to hope for things because I didn't like disappointment. And I knew that I was lucky to of even experienced something like this, something any girl would dream of. I couldn't of wished for anything more.

"Wait" he quickly walked towards me and grabbed my wrist, spinning me around to face him. The smell of mint filled my nostrils as he pulled me closer, so close I could see his chest rise and fall as he breathed.

"Can we see each other again?" he whispered, resting his hand on my shoulder and squeezing it gently.

His eyes were full of hope.

Happiness bubbled up inside me but I tried not to get ahead of myself. It probably meant nothing. And I would be greedy to ask for more. Greedy to accept his offer.

I knew I was going to get hurt. There was no way in which this crazy fantasy could have a happy ending.

"Suga I-"

"Call me Min Yoongi" he interrupted.

I hesitated before saying, "Yoongi I-

I would love to see you again."

***

That was the day I began to hope. That was the day I ignored the fear and the worry and the 'what if's'

That was the day I began to live my crazy fantasy and pray for a happy ending.

That was the day I started dating Min Yoongi.