Untamed Love

Chapter 33 - Tess

Chapter 33 - Tess

I moved my fingers, cracking pain shot through my arm and spread throughout my body. My eyes creaked open. White was all around me. I shifted position on the rock hard surface. I turned to my side and there was Niall. His head was in his hands pulling at his dirty blonde hair. 

"Ni-Niall?" His head shot up. His eyes were a grey blue but then his whole face lit up and so did his eyes, returning to their normal state. 

"Tess" he whispered in astonishment. He took my hand and rubbed the back of it. I sat up and brought his face closer to mine. I softly kissed his plump lips. "Tess, do you remember what happened?"

"No. No not really. I remember someone yelling at me and they were harrassing me"

"Tess?" he said slowly. "None of that happened. You started screaming and yelling at me telling me not to touch you. You were hallucinating"

I started to get worried. "Wh-when did this-s happen?"

"After we got picked up at the aquarium. You started sneezing, then coughing, then you started yelling at me. I held you in my arms but then I felt you go limp. We rushed you to the hospital and here you are" Niall kindly explained. 

"W-whats wrong with me?". The door opened and there was a black figure standing in the door way. Liams voice rang out. 

"Hey Niall? Can I talk to you for a second?"

"Yeah sure". He kissed my temple and left the room closing the door softly. 

- Liam -

"I looked up the same symptoms of Tess and the same thing kept coming up. I looked at ways to prevent outbursts from happening and a whole list came up. I looked it up on youtube and there were many people that had the same disorder and now they are perfectly fine"

Niall was dangerously silent. His face was blank and his eyes were glued onto mine. "What are you suggesting?" he asks as he breaks the silence. 

"Well, we have to be gentle with her, we can't overwhelm her. She can see a specialist or go to rehab which I think we should save as a last resort. Since we are on tour and we keep moving all the time, we might need to hire a specialist to go along with us as we travel"

Silence filled the hallway. Niall looked me in the eye and searched my face. All he found was honesty and fear. I gave him a reassuring look and he nodded slightly. "If that's what we have to do..."

I pulled him in for a hug. "Thanks Liam. So I guess we have to tell Tess eh?"

"I'll be right by your side. I can see how much pain this is putting you in. I don't want to see you get hurt"

- Tess -

The door creaked open again and only then did I realise that I had been staring in the same spot where Niall was minutes ago. Liam and Niall walked in with blank faces and sorry eyes. 

"What's wrong? Is something bad going to happen?" I was getting worked up and I don't even know what happened. My head started to pound until Niall took my hand and looked me in the eye. I started to calm down. I took a deep breath in and out. I closed my eyes until the pounding stopped. I looked Niall in the eye and reassured him by squeezing his hand. 

"Tess...everyone is worried about you. The more you suffer through whatever this is, is hurting everyone" started Niall.

"We want to help you" Liam finished.

"I want to get better. I don't want to hurt anyone unintentionally. What's going to happen?"

"Well there were wuite a few options. Rehab" he started counting on his fingers. "Which we are planning to save as a last resort or not at all" explained Liam. 

"Or we think the best option is to hire a specialist to go on tour with us to be there for you all the time. Or we can slowly try make you better by being calm and patient with you"

"I think the idea of having a specialist with me is the best option but can we slowly try by ourselves first because since we are all like brothers and sisters now, it will be easier for not only me but for everyone".

Niall, still holding my hand, smiled and kissed the back of my hand. I smiled at him reassuringly. "Thanks guys. It really means  a lot to me"

There was a knock at the door. Liam opened it and a doctor walked in. We have tested her blood and she seems fine. It might be a cognitive issue. You can leave in the next hour. We just need to get a few papers for you to sign. 

AT THE HOTEL

I collapsed on my bed looking at my reflection. I looked horrible. I had no colour in my face, my lips were pale, my eyes weren't their normal colour and my hair was knotted and sticking out in strange directions. I sighed and walked into the bathroom rubbing my face. decided to put some calming music on and have a shower. 

I stripped down and waited for the water to warm up. I stepped in letting the water wash over me, cascading down my body. I scrubbed my hair and my skin with the delicious smelling shampoo and soap. I stayed standing in the shower for a few minutes before turning the water off. I stepped onto the fluffy bath mat and wrapped a white towel around me. 

I changed into a comfy shirt and shorts. I sighed again and put my hair in a messy bun. So many questions and thoughts ran through my head. The boys had left for a catchup rehearsal. I decided to go to get a coffee. 

I slipped my sandals on and walked down to the nearest cafe. I smiled at the waitress "can I have a cappuccino please?"

"Sure. That's $3.80". I hand her a fiver dollar note and collect the change. I feel like I'm doing things really slowly. I don't want to move too fast because I don't feel safe. I take my coffee and sit down at a table. My phone starts to ring but I don't pick it up. I just need time by myself to take everything in. 

I want to get better. But I want to do it gradually with my friends around me. I just hope I do get better and leave my disorder or whatever it is. I'm sick of unintentionally hurting people.