•Chapter 18: Questions

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Qasim
"Baby, my breath stink?" I questioned. Blowing my breath in O's face.

Her face contorted and she gave me a stale face.

"I love you, but gum is your best friend" she replied. Holding up a piece of Wrigley's gum.

I took it and discarded the wrapper. O snickered, and pulled me towards her. Standing on her tiptoes she kissed my lips four times.

"Babe, your breath is fine. Everything about you is fine" she stressed. Straightening out my collar a little bit. My nerves were starting to get to me. Despite how I have treated my mom these last few times we have interacted, I felt bad for being rude to her. I let my emotions cloud my morals.

There was a small knock at the door. Honey went to open the door.

As I stood there, Trisha appeared in the door. The radiant glow I saw on her face is how I remembered my mom looking. I was six and that was the last time I saw her.

"Hi baby, I have been praying for this day" she stated. Smiling a little.

Watching the tears well up in her eyes did something to me. One thing I never liked seeing is my mom shed tears. Something came over me, and I stepped towards her. Pulling her into me I hugged her.

"I'm sorry, I just needed you. You were my best friend, and you left" I mumbled, feeling my tears well up.

I felt her body shake. I couldn't cry because she needed me to be strong. I rubbed her back and kissed her hair. Something she did to me when I was younger. Pulling away from me she grabbed a tissue.

"I never harbored any anger for the things you were saying. I always taught you to verbally express yourself. I knew it was a place of hurt." She explained.

I pulled the chairs out for Trisha and Honey. They both sat down and I seated myself afterwards.

"I ask myself a thousand times how did I get here. How did I allow- myself to be dragged by a man and a drug?

Letting out a small sigh, she clasped her hands together.

Before I met Honeys mom, your dad was my world. I met him while he was stationed here one year. He was everything I dreamed of and then some. Only thing, he was addicted to heroin and cocaine. I dibble and dabbled with both. I liked the rush from the cocaine better. I ended up pregnant. Raymond didn't want anything to do with me. I met Honey mom. She helped me get straight. Helped me take care of you as well.

I made her promise to take care of you if I couldn't. I fell into a financial issue. Rachel helped me through that. Faithful Ray came back around and I got hooked again.

I left you on Rachel's doorstep with a note" she stated, tears coming down her face.

Watching her cry, I could see the regret on her face.

"I have regretted that decision every day of my life. Rachel kept me informed- but it still didn't beat being here physically to parent you. I feel like maybe your life would have been totally different"

I shook my head at her.

"I was hardheaded growing up. I had to learn a lot on my own. Yet, all my mistakes groomed me into the man I am. To be honest, my life humbled me. It allowed me to realize everything is not money, partying, and sleeping with different women. I had to kiss a few frogs before I found my princess"

She laughed softly and looked at me for a moment.

"I can't erase my past actions. All I can do is offer you the new and improved Trisha. I want to be there for you and Trinity. If not the both, at least her"

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