It was... the Little Things

Not even Oliver...

I continued to stare at the two airplanes placed perfectly in the red box. Everyone had always told me that the memories were stupid, that it's not possible that anyone could remember them. And here I was kneeling on the ground with all the proof to slam into their faces and I still couldn't believe it.

I hated him. I hated everything about him. The way he thought that he could just come and go into my life and play with my feelings as much as he pleases. I hated the fact that I had let him do it, let him mess with my head so much and give him a place in my heart even though he didn't deserve it.

If I had only not given that note to him.

Everything would be different. Call me a hypocrite after all I said about not regretting it but the truth is that if I hadn't been so naïve and stupid then I wouldn't be here right now.

The hurt of rejection. The hurt of not knowing. The hurt of regret. I wouldn't be feeling any of them if I hadn't let things go so far.

It was all my fault.

All the taunts that I head gone through was all because of one piece of paper four years ago.

I clenched my fists, not bothering to wipe away the tears that gushed down my reddening cheeks. I looked down at the planes again.

But this time instead of seeing a memory that would always make me smile whenever I thought of it, all I saw was hate.

I'd used the word now so much that it didn't even make me feel guilty for using such a strong word. It's like with me and swearing. The first time I swore because of Sam I felt so bad that I could actually do that. But now I swear so frequently that I don't even see the strength of those words.

The feeling boiled my blood, every memory of hurt swarmed around my head, centering around the one person that caused all of it.

I grabbed the box and through it as far as the eye could see but my gaze didn't follow it, my vision was blurred by the salty mess that streamed out of my eyes. I heard the sound of it landing, now I knew that it was gone.

I heard footsteps approaching but I didn't bother looking up, I stared at the ground until two red shoes appeared. I knew those feet.

I slowly looked up and recognized the hazel eyes that I had known for less than a year.
"Kais? What's wrong?" Asked Laurel as she sat down on the ground with me.

"What are you doing here, schools been over for an hour?"

"My mum had to spend extra time at the clinic, but answer my question"

With that I spilled out the entire story, the words just rolled off my tongue with ease.

"I still don't understand why you're upset Kais"

"What the hell Laurel! How can't I  be upset!?"

"Kais Sam remembers! Isn't that what you've always wanted!?"

"He doesn't have the right to come into my life and play around with my emotions whenever he pleases! If he remembered then why didn't he come to me a long time ago!?"

"But Kais you just told me that he said that the reason he didn't say anything was because he didn't want to be hurt and because he didn't like being under peer pressure"

"That stuff about being hurt is all bull! And no one can be under peer pressure for four years! And the whole peer pressure stuff doesn't make sense!"

"Yes it does Kais! Sam didn't like the fact that people were forcing him into a relationship and he confused his feelings for you with the fear of being trapped! That's a very valid excuse if you ask me!"