It was... the Little Things

Snowflake.

Today had been so eventful that it was such a relief to be able to take a breather. I lay in the bed waiting for my next visitor to walk in, this was the part where everyone outside would argue over who should come to see me and then they'll argue again, reach no decision, play rock, paper, scissors and promise each other to make a proper decision next time. Well so much for that.

I couldn't sit up yet, Pinocchio senior (Dr Cooper) said that it would be at least a week before I would be able to without any assistance, he recommended that I stay asleep for the time being though. I stared up at the ceiling for the umpteenth time today, at this point I began to notice irregularities in the paint, faint blotches were evident if you looked hard enough.

The shutter rattled loudly in the silent room, shaking me out of my trance like state. I looked ahead, holding my head as high as I could on the elevated pillow to see my next visitor.

"Sam?"

"Hey Kais," he shuffled uncomfortably in his spot, once he got the courage to move, he trotted across the tiled surface, pulling up a high stool next to the bed. His eyes still looked tiered, his hair was shaggy at best and his pale cheeks were dotted with the formation of stubble.

"Why did you leave when I woke up?" I asked

"I didn't want to intrude...it was your family and I'd been hogging the space the whole night you'd been unconscious, they deserved to be here first"

I didn't answer to that, I knew when Sam was lying, "sure"

"Hey...look, I just needed time to think stuff through, I need that right?"

"Yah totally, sorry about the pressure I know that I can be pretty overbearing at times, kind of makes you wonder what's wrong with me right?" Even disabled I could still interrogate the shit out of him, call it a talent if you may.

The awkwardness began to build up, brick by brick...an imaginary wall standing between us, "you heard," he said quietly

"Mhmm, the whole chitty chitty bang bang"

"I-I-"

"Don't blame you"

"Huh?"

"I don't blame you for what you said"

"Why not?" He said

"Because you said all the words I was to afraid to say"

"You don't love me anymore...do you?"

I stayed silent for a while, formulating my answer, "I loved you"

"Past tense"

"Sam, I wanted you to be something that you weren't. I couldn't realize it when I needed to, but now I do"

"What do you mean?"

"I mean that I wasn't I love with you, I was in love with the memories"

"Memories," he said as he began drifting off into a dream state

"Yah...I thought that you would be the same Sam, that nothing would ever change about you, but you're not the same Sam just as I'm not the same Kaisley. We grew up"

"We did"

"And I expected things from you that I shouldn't have"

"Such as?"

"Being your old self"

"True"

"I didn't want to let you go, I was afraid of what would have happened if I had...you were my security, not my love"