Forever bound

5. Alone

Levi's P.O.V

"Dad, are you sure you ran the boarders when I was gone?" I asked looking up from my computer screen.

Without looking up from the book he was looking at he answered. "Son, I was the one that passed down the Alpha position to you weren't I."

"I mean yeah, but something feels off. Like I don't know, maybe it's just me." I turned around in my swivel chair and looked outside in the back. People were playing with there children, others just horse playing, and some training in the distance. I put my head in my hands and breathed out. "Dad in all honesty, I think this pack is just falling apart. Like I just don't know whats going on. Rouges crossing into our territory, fucking vampires coming out of nowhere, and Allison."

I heard him shut his book and footsteps grow closer to me. "Levi, stand up."

I did what he told me and I looked at him. He searched my face and I saw he knew exactly what I needed. "Son, I feel as though you need someone to talk to. I know I'm your father, but I think you need to talk to someone who actually knows better than me."

I raised a brow. "Who would that be?"

"Wait one second." He left out my office and I stood there looking outside the window at how happy my pack looks and they don't even know that we are slowly breaking down to pieces. I heard a light knock on my door and I said come in. I turned around to see Allison's mom. She smiled at me and took a seat. "Your father said you needed someone to talk to. I know I'm not your species but I think I can do a lot more than just sit around and let you sit around and hold it all in." I breathed and sat in my chair. I knew I didn't have anybody to talk to...hell I didn't have anybody. I looked at her and smiled. "You know I really do love your daughter." she nodded and I continued. "She won't talk to me, like she's not answering my calls, texts, snapchats, everything. Even my own friends won't talk to me. Austin and Justin of ALL people won't even talk to me. And there the most talkative people that I know. My own Beta won't even talk to me. I don't know what I did this time. But what ever I did must have got me in deep shit because I can't get out. I hate to admit it but...Im alone, and I hate it. I hate being the way I am, I hate being a douche, I hate just the whole fucking situation."

I looked at her and I saw she was thinking about what I said. She looked at me and gave me a small smile. "Levi, I know it's hard to change without trying to change your own person. If you want to be someone better you at least have to try. That's what I had to do, I did it for my daughter. I had a reason to change, I had a motivation to change. My motivation to change was Allison. I did it for her and I did it for myself. So you have to have a motivation for yourself, not because people want you to."

I put my head down and spoke. "But what ever I did to Allison.... I can feel that she's broken, I can feel that I hurt her in a way where she can never forgive me. Even my wolf is quiet and isn't snapping his smart ass remark on everything I do."

"Maybe he's trying to teach you something. Like he's trying to give you signs or try to make you reason with yourself without being him trying to steer you in the right direction. Probably to trust your instinct."

I sucked in a sharp breath and squeezed my eyes shut. "That's the thing. My instinct is telling me to let her go. My heart is telling me to let her go. If I love her enough, I will let her go and let her be happy, without me being there and ruining it. My mind is telling me to keep her with me, to love her, to care for her, just to be there." My eyes started to get watery and I looked up to the ceiling. " I love her, I really do."

I put my head on the desk and tried to hold in the tears that wanted to be let out. I never cry, I have never ever in my life cried over a girl. Allison is special to me. In reality I have never had a true girlfriend, I mean one that cares for me and loves me for me. Not because I'm hot, not because I'm on the football team. Speaking of the football team I have to talk to coach about the whole why I was gone bit. I felt hands on my shoulder and I looked up. Allison's mom was starring down at me with sad eyes. "Levi honey, I was young once trust me, I have met bigger dicks than you. Your not even the worst of them."