Hazel Rain

Chapter 24

"I'm fine." Trudy snapped as Kim approached her, "I don't want anything to eat nor do I want anything to drink! Alright! What I want is to be left alone, Burgess." She ran her hand angrily over her face and stormed off.

Kim felt awful, she bit her bottom lip softly and returned to the chair she'd spent the last three hours in, she blindly reached for Adam's hand and threaded her fingers between his.

"She didn't mean it, Kim" Adam glanced at her, he knew the minute Trudy used Kim's maiden name that it had hurt his wife immensely. That it was if they'd gone back to being just work colleagues, not the friends that they were.

She leaned into Adam's side, resting her head on his shoulder, "I know, I do. I just hate this...I hate it for her and I hate it for Mouch"

Adam turned and rested his head against hers, "I hate it too. We just need to be here for her."

As Kim looked at Adam she felt the guilt rise within her, as she stared into his eyes and she still felt relieved and she hated herself for it. Her friend's husband, the man her children adored was fighting for his life and she was relieved.

She was relieved it wasn't Adam in the operating room, she was relieved that it wasn't her husband fighting for his life.

Adam could see it in her eyes and her body language, something was picking away at her, "What is it?"

"I'm awful. I'm so glad it wasn't you...I heard Trudy scream your name at the house and I panicked. I thought you had been hurt, then I saw you in the doorway and I was elated. Someone else would be getting that knock on the door, not me. I was happy." She wiped her eyes with a tissue, "then I realized it was Trudy who was the one getting that knock on the door.."

"Aw, baby. It's okay. You didn't do anything wrong." Adam attempted to reason with her.

Kim jumped up from her seat, "Except I did! For that brief moment, I willed it to be someone else...I prayed that it wasn't you...and it wasn't, but it was Mouch!" She was now yelling her hands flailing wildly as she screamed.

Adam rushed to her and pulled her against his chest, her fists pounding against him as she cried, "Shh.. it's okay, I've got you. It's alright" he murmured against her hair.

Trudy could hear her screams, she heard the pity in her voice. She refused to be pitied, she wouldn't allow it.

Mouch would survive, there just wasn't another option. She ignored the cries and the pained looks.

She could hear her long dead mother's voice in her head.

'Now Trudy, we mustn't cry. Stiff upper lip now, girl.'

Her mother loved her and did as best she could, but she demanded that Trudy bury her emotions, they weren't to be seen by anyone. Her family didn't do emotion, she could count on one hand the amount of times one of her parents hugged her, and she would have fingers left over.

Dr. Rhodes stood in front of the mirror, he had just come from the OR and he'd given it his all but sadly his all wasn't enough. Most days he could brush it off, distance himself from the case and the patient.

Not this time, this one hurt.

He had failed.

He could hear the man's boisterous laugh in his head, he was larger than life. He was one of the good ones, a guy who'd give you the shirt off his back.

The man who would give his life to save another...and it was just what he had done.

"Breathe..man breathe" Connor stared at his reflection, his eyes were sad and tired. His body ached, standing hunched over a patient for hours always hurt, but it hurt a bit more when he lost the battle.