Hazel Rain

Chapter 70

"Calm down." Kim grabbed Adam's hand as he continued to pace the length of the living room, "you're working my last nerve."

Adam stepped over Dylan who sat next to Sam, mesmerized as Sam built yet another tower of blocks that Dylan would promptly knock over. Sam giggled as his baby brother clapped his hands wildly as the blocks tumbled to the floor.

"Am I? Jeez, Kim. I'm so sorry." Adam grumbled. He hated feeling so worked up, and he certainly didn't appreciate Kim's willingness to accept this man into his mother's life and theirs.

Kim rolled her eyes at his petulant outburst, "Adam, you're being ridiculous. We've invited them over for dinner, we haven't planned a wedding..."

"Don't.." Adam nearly bit her head off, "don't say that...don't even put it out there..."

Charles adjusted his necktie, "Are you sure this is a good idea?"

Rhonda waved him off, "Oh, stop...it'll be fine. I've met your children..this is just the next logical step." She went and adjusted his tie, "that's better." She stood on her toes and placed a feathery light kiss on his lips, "Let's go."

"My kids loved you...but let's remember that none of my children carry a gun." He slipped his wallet in his coat pocket, "That scares me just a little bit.." he suddenly felt like a teenager going to meet his girlfriend's father.

"Oh, hush. Now, let's go before we are late." She playfully shoved him out the door. "Adam hates it when people are late." She teased.

"Hey...come on in." Hank had been surprised to find Erin on his doorstep, he hadn't seen much of her lately. "You look good, how're you feeling?" He took her coat and hung it in the hall closet.

Erin rubbed her belly, "I'm okay..kind of ready for this to be over." She had felt so many different emotions over the last few weeks and she wasn't sure which way was up anymore.

"I bet.." he crossed his legs at the ankle, "Erin..I don't want to pry..but..."

Erin knew where it was headed, "I'm scared." Hank was the one person she could always count on, the one person who made her feel safe and loved. She didn't know her father and she was certain her mother didn't, but Hank? He was the closest thing she had to a father, and she needed him more than ever.

Hank moved to the edge of his seat, "Scared? That's not all that unusual, Erin. Every first time parent is scared...scared shitless to be precise." He reached for her hand, "you just do the best you can and you love that baby with all you have."

"What if all of that isn't enough? What if despite all the love in the world I ruin this baby...I ruin my baby boy?" Erin choked out, "I don't know how to be a parent, Hank."

"You think I did?" He got up and sat next to her, "You think Olinsky did? Fuck, you think Ruzek knew how? None of us knew...we all do our best."

"Bunny."

"Bunny? Is that what this is about?"

"What if I'm just like her? What if I don't have it in me to be a mother..that's why I need to give this baby to Jay." Erin had never been able to shake her mother from her life, she knew in her head that going to Bunny was the worst thing she could do but she was drawn to her like a moth to a flame. Her head knew is was disaster, but her heart pushed her towards her mother, she was forever chasing the idea of a mother.

Something Bunny would never provide for her.

Hank wanted to throttle her. "Erin, I love you as if you were my own...but this? This is stupid. You give that baby up and you'll regret it for the rest of your life...no one is a perfect parent. We all stumble along the way, we make mistakes, but we keep at it. I'm telling you right now...you'll regret it for the rest of your life if you walk away from your son."