Hazel Rain

Chapter 61

She had never seen a casket so small, she ran her hand lightly over the top of it. They had agonized for nearly an hour that morning at the funeral home over which one to choose. Now, as she stood before it, she hated it.

She hated all of it.

The looks of sympathy her friends and family had on their faces when she walked in the room...the hushed conversations. She wanted to rage at the world, she wanted everyone to feel the immense pain she had felt the minute she watched her son being carried off to surgery.

She hated how Hazel and Sam looked at her, they had fallen apart at the news of their baby brother's death. Hazel had screamed, and punched Adam as he tried to hold her and Sam only wanted Rhonda.

They hated her.

Adam...he was lost..the way he looked at her..made her soul ache.

"You did this! You failed our son...I hate you!" He spat at her, his face held unadulterated hatred for her.

She didn't blame him...she hated herself.

She felt as if she was falling, her limbs flailing wildly, she bolted upright against Adam her breathing shallow and rapid...her brow slick with sweat.

She gasped for air..it had been a nightmare, "He was gone.." she  grabbed Adam's hand. "Dylan..he was gone.." she couldn't being herself to say it "Is Dylan okay...it was real, Adam. It felt so real." She was still winded, she could feel everyone's eyes on her, "Adam.."

Adam pulled her into his arms, "It was a nightmare baby. Dylan is hanging in, they updated us about a half hour ago, it was going as planned. You had just fallen asleep..I didn't want to wake you."

Kim got up from the chair and went to the window and looked out on the hospital's playground, she watched as Michelle Olinsky chased Sam and Hazel, her children smiling and laughing as Michelle finally caught them.

She turned back to face Adam, "My dream..Adam, it was awful. Hazel and Sam hated me...you did too, you said I failed Dylan.."

He rushed to her side, "Don't say that! You didn't fail our baby...you nurtured him as best you could...you kept him alive....you made sure he was strong enough for surgery...you did that." He hugged her, "It wasn't real..it was a horrible nightmare."

Five hours.

They'd been sitting in the surgical waiting room for five hours. Adam had walked the length of the room continuously. Kevin had even teased him a bit, telling him he'd put a groove in the floor. No one could really blame him though, they were all on edge. No one more so than Kim and Adam, Michelle had taken Hazel, Sam, and Zoe out for lunch. They had started to become restless and it had taken Erin and Alyssa to convince Kim to allow them to leave.

Adam was growing increasingly impatient, and he was beginning to wear on Kim's patience, "Jesus, Adam! Sit down...please!" She snapped, running her hands over her face.

This was so incredibly hard, the last they had heard was that they'd run into a complication of some sort, but they had seemingly righted the ship and close to finishing.

"How can you just sit there? Huh? How the fuck can any of you just sit here?" Adam kicked at chair sending it flying across the room, Kim flinched as the chair's legs scraped the tiled floor.