It's No Big Deal

Epilogue.

So, that was that. It's over. Logan's gone. She's not returning.

The girl I loved most in the whole world isn't with us. I would cry, but my eyes hurt from all the crying I've done.

I've gone to school once since Logan passed, and I got weird looks. I'm still not friends with the people I used to be friends with, nor would I want to. Some people give me pity looks, but I just roll my eyes. I don't need pity, I need Logan.

Mom decided that we'd leave once Logan's funeral was over, so I could see her one last time before the beautiful corpse was buried deep in the ground, and would remain there for eternity.

Logan's funeral is actually going on right now. I'm staring hard at her from my front row seat.

It doesn't feel right. Normally, she'd be laughing or smiling, now she's laying in her casket, not moving, pale as can be, and looking peaceful as ever.

She doesn't look like the Logan I know and love. I want her in my arms, I want to hold her close and never let her go.

There's loud cries everywhere. Isabel being one of the people crying most. I don't blame her, Logan died while being mad at her sister.

I couldn't take Isabel's tears anymore, so I just wrapped my arms around her, and tried comforting her while a few tears of my own shed, no matter how much it stung.

I didn't know I had any tears left in me. I thought they all ran out but I guess not.

People were going up to say words about Logan, but I didn't pay attention. I just looked at Logan, heart broken.

"Go say a few things about her," Logan's mom told me as she put her hand on my shoulder and gave me a sympathetic look.

Without knowing, my feet planted on the ground, and my legs stood straight. I started walking up to the podium.

Once I got there, I cleared my throat, and started babbling. "She'll never know how special she was to me. I used to be some evil, heartless jerk, but this girl right here," I pointed to Logan, "changed me completely. I owe it all to her. The only reason I'm here is all because of her. Nothing is the same anymore. I want things to go back to the way they were, but they won't. They can't. I'm glad she isn't suffering anymore. She's up in Heaven, looking peacefully down at us, smiling. She would want all of us to be happy. I never wanted to say goodbye, but she was my angel. She brought all good to me, and once she was finished her job, she had to go. God wanted the perfect girl back up in Heaven with him. I could never thank him enough for bringing such an amazing, unique individual into my life. Logan is everything I looked for in a best friend. It should be me who had the cancer, who died, who'll never be able to see his family, not Logan. Logan deserved the world and more. She brightened up a room with her glowing smile. I don't think there could ever be someone as perfect as Logan Hawley. I swear I will never love anyone the same. I fell in love with this girl, but she was taken from me. I would do anything just to see her. I'd give up a thousand days just so I could spend one more with Logan. No one will ever understand her like I do. No one will ever replace my Logan. I love you Logan, and I can't wait to see you again."

I stepped down, sat back at my seat without a single tear running down my cheeks. I said what I needed to. Life won't be the same anymore. How can you just pretend someone who meant so much to you didn't exist? Like you never met them. You can't. They'll always be a part of you. Logan will always have a place in my heart, always.

We all watched as her casket was slowly going underground. We could all toss some dirt over her. All I wanted was to jump there and take her body out and just hug her one last time. I just wanted to hold her in my arms for a minute longer. All I need is a minute. But I didn't. I just tossed dirt and walked out of the way.

They buried the rest of her with a shovel. I held Mrs. Hawley close. I didn't want her to feel alone. She was sobbing onto my shoulder, but I didn't mind.

Everybody dropped some flowers onto her grave. Once I saw everyone left about twenty minutes later, I sat down right beside her grave, and had my back against the side of her gravestone. I looked out into the sky.

"You know, Logan, I don't know how I'm going to be without you. My life won't be the same anymore. Mom and I are going to New York soon. In two days I think. I'm already missing you like crazy. I don't have any friends anymore. You were my only friend. I wish I could come here often, but I won't be able to. I'm going to a different state. I will write you a letter each day until I'm up there with you. I promise to bring them with me so I can give them to you. You're going to be missed like crazy. By your brother, sister, mother, and myself. I'm scared to face the world without you, even though I've done it for nearly a week, and trust me, it has been the hardest week of my life. I don't think I could ever stop loving you. I just wanted to thank you. You turned this terrible monster into a heartfelt young man. I could never thank you enough. I love you and ill be back tomorrow. Stay beautiful up in Heaven."

"Touching," Isabel smiled. I didn't reply, so she handed me an envelope. "This is for you, from Logan. She wrote you a letter before she passed and asked me to hand it to you. You really meant a lot to her."

Isabel walked away. I looked at the envelope in my hand and opened it quickly. I decided to read it aloud.

"Dear Sebastian, thank you for being there for me when no one else was. You truly are a wonderful human being. Someone deserves you, so go out and love again once you feel like you have the courage to. I want you to be happy and healthy. Make the best choices for you. Do what you please to do. It's your life. You were always on my mind and my best friend. I couldn't bare the thought of leaving you, but it wasn't up to me. I hope to see you soon, but not too soon. I love you and take care. Yours truly, Logan Hawley."

I looked up and stared at the sunset. It reminded me of Logan's smile, how it's glowing.

Just the thought of her made me smile and have a warm feeling inside, but it's no big deal.

_________________

So that's that :) I was honoured to finish this fantastic story which was originally created by the lovely Sammy herself.

Speaking of Sammy, it's been exactly a year today since she's passed.

Missed, but never forgotten. <3

& I'll still go on her account once in a while (not often of course).

Have an amazing day and I hoped you enjoyed this beautiful novel.

Yours truly,

Sara

11/29/12 <3

I love you Sammy and all her amazing fans who have been there for her through everything. & also I'd like to thank everyone who did the #StayStrongSammy thing. It really did make her happy.

This is Sara signing off.

Rest In Peace Sammy. <3