60 Days of Salt and Sand

D a y ~ 4 9

Today something changed. I was just talking to her, like usual. But she wasn't breathing on her own. And she was hooked up to more machines. And the doctors came in more often to check on her.

I went to the bathroom, but when I got back, something was wrong. The monitors were going crazy, then suddenly still.

Deadly still. Like when I found her in the ocean.

I called for help and got out of the way when a nurse rushed in. "She's coding!" She called. I heard another "code blue" somewhere out in the hall, and a team of doctors rushed in all at once. I kept against the wall, but couldn't bring myself to watch. I wasn't sure I wanted to know what's going on, not with this pit of dread inside of me.

I heard a "Clear," and then a "Let's go again," and then the same thing a few more times.

Then someone said, "Should we call it?"

I got dizzy all of the sudden and found myself sliding down the wall into the floor. This wasn't happening. No... this couldn't be happening. Not so fast. Not suddenly like this.

I was wishing that something would change for so long that I hadn't even thought about the fact that change could be bad. Now I wished nothing had changed. I wished that she were still sleeping, calm, stable. I wished she were okay.

But then I heard the beep of the monitor again.

Steady.