My Little World

Chapter Twelve

Tara's POV

I was sitting on our couch thinking about Xavier obviously when Jessica came from work and dropped beside me. She put her legs on the coffee table and let out a loud sigh.

"I'm so tired"

"Xavier asked me out." I blurted out.

She had the same expression that I had when Xavier asked till he let the words settle in and then she jumped in excitement and tackled me to death to congratulate me. Only if she knew..

"So you said yes, right? I mean duh obviously." She raised her eyebrows asking me to confirm her teeny tiny doubt but when I didn't she became anxious "Please tell me you said yes." She pleaded and shook my head slowly "Ofcourse. Why may I ask?" She threw her hands in the air and sank on the couch a little more.

"What to you by why? Don't you know why? Have you successfully forgotten everything?"

"No I haven't but he likes you. And you like him and he likes Emma and Emma likes him. What is the issue when everybody in this situation likes everybody. Win-win-win, so many wins"

"Being with him means telling him about all the details of my past that I've been trying to forget over the years. It means making him part of this circus called my life. What if he gets to know about everything and decides that he doesn't want to be with me? I can't let that happen. It'll break Emma's heart too."

She sat back and look at me with wrangled expression. Something that always freaks me out "Don't you think you're thinking way ahead? You don't have to tell him your life story on the first date. You go on a date, enjoy yourself, see how amazing life could be when you aren't so upright and guarded and then with time if you feel comfortable around him, if you trust him enough just tell him. And as much as I know Xavier I'm sure he won't judge you for anything."

"Yes but-"

"Tara, I'm not going to say this only once because I'm tired and you're irritating the shit out of me and I want to go and sleep. Stop using Emma as an excuse for not trusting him. I know you're scared and I know you don't want your heart broken but everybody isn't going to break your heart and judge your daughter. Some people are genuinely nice and when you come across such people you don't let them go, you take the leap for them and believe in your heart that it's the right choice."

After that she got up and leave not wasting another minute listening to my excuses. I know she's right. I know I'm being unreasonable but it's just hard. I know at some point I've to stop being bothered by my past and get over it but somehow I just feel stuck or scared that I'm not capable of doing that.

I got up in the morning with everything still revolving in my mind in a loop. I got dressed in a peach and black dress with no make up and hair tied in a pony since I wasn't in mood and I was late for work.

I was working when someone I heard a familiar voice "Hey" I saw Sapphire standing in a pretty summer dress with her beautiful pregnancy glow.

"Hey. How have you been? You look great. Very pretty" 

"Oh thank you. I've been good considering all the mood swings and morning sickness. You should actually ask my husband how he is doing!"

I laughed "Um.. Xavier isn't available right now-"

"I know.  I've met him in the morning and he told he has a date with your daughter"

"Emma-"

"It's okay. No explanation needed. I basically came to meet you."

I frowned "Oh. Am I in trouble or something?" I asked jokingly.

She shrugged "Not yet. We'll see"