My Little World

Chapter Seventeen

Tara's POV

After complementing everything I decided it was high time I pay a visit to my sister. After making hundreds of worst case scenario in my head and going through every pros and cons list I ever made I decided that my sister deserves it more than anything else. She has been there for me even when my parents weren't there and if she wants me to be there then I should be there no excuses.

Even though the decision seemed the right call I was more than anxious. The thought of seeing my mother after four years was nerve-wracking and very stressful. I may have made a thousand situations of that particular moment and none of them gave me any hope.

To say my daughter was excited would be the understatement of the millennium, she was on cloud nine. She has met Jessica's parents and for the longest time they're the only grandparents she has considered and they've loved her like their own grandchild, they knew my situation and they were aware that Emma may never have real grandparents so they never made us feel like outsider but now she's going to finally meet her real grandmother and only the thought of that has made her exhilarated.

The more excited she got each passing day, the more nervous I became. I know there are certain kind of expectations she's holding up to and there is a good chance my mother would crush them, leaving my daughter heartbroken. I wish I could explain her but I can't and I can't even voice my thoughts to Xavier about it because that may raise many more questions that I've been avoiding.

Xavier said he wants to accompany me too and I couldn't find it in my heart to say no. In a way it was a good thing, I'll have him as a support when I'll be a nervous mess. He hasn't really asked me anything about how to behave, or how to talk or what are the sensitive topics. I know he's anxious too but he's keeping a calm face so that I won't freak out. With my mother, everything is going to be super sensitive and I have no idea what to expect and what not to. It is all unpredictable.

"The anticipation is killing me" I said packing my essentials.

"Then stop overthinking. Why are you thinking of the worst? You're making it difficult for yourself." Jessica said helping me pack.

"Why don't you come? I mean you can.."

"Seriously? You want me there to? Stop going crazy it's freaking me out now."

I sighed and sat on the bed. She placed her hand on my shoulder and calm my nerves.

We were finally ready to leave and at this point Emma was dancing on the moon I guess and Xavier seemed calm comparing to me who had lost all sense of calm and quiet I ever had. I was already complementing my decision and we haven't even boarded the flight yet.

I've to say it is the worst flight journey ever. I was anxious and worried and every nerve in my body was about to break loose. I'm grateful Emma is not a pussy traveler or else it would've been dreadful. I was so freaked out that I even spilled hot coffee on the waitress and created a bigger mess while helping her to clean. I'm sure she hates me now.

After creating a full blown scene on the plane I decided it was time for me to calm my senses down and let the people fly peacefully, not everyone is going to meet their mother after four years.

I woke up as I felt someone shake me. I opened my realized we're finally home. I looked outside and it made me want to fly back again and forget this stupid decision. I pinched myself again and again, hoping it is just a dream and I'm not really in India. It's safe to say that I'm a coward and now facing one of my fears made me a mess.

We checked ourselves in a hotel and it felt real every passing second making it impossible for me to breath normally and think normally. I was unpacking when I saw a piece of paper tucked between the clothes. I took out the paper and what I saw made my heart stop.