My Little World

Chapter Twenty Seven

Xavier's POV

I came out and started pacing in front of the car. I could see Sapphire looking at me in confusion but I didn't care. I felt like my head would explode with this new information. I had not seen this coming. All this this time I've loved Emma thinking that she is Tara's daughter but turns out it was all a lie.

I don't care who's daughter she is, I love her just the same but I deserve the truth. I understand why she wouldn't tell everyone but she didn't even told me about something so huge. I was falling in love with Tara, with all her little quirks and her strength and the fact that she is an amazing mother but now all I can think is how she didn't tell me such an important thing.

She knows I'm not a judgmental person. I don't care about the society's stereotypes. Yes, it is weird to accept the fact that she has been raising her ex boyfriend's child but it is not impossible. I'm a grown man who can deal with this kind of information but it sucks that she doesn't trust me. She didn't think that I'm capable of understanding her and not judge her.

"Could you just come inside so we can talk? Your pacing is giving me anxiety." Sapphire called out.

I got inside the car and told her everything I knew. It wasn't much of a story than a fact. Her boyfriend cheated on her, had a baby and left without the baby. There wasn't much to tell but the that little information is enough to blow your mind off. Sapphire was just as shock as I was.

"Wow. That's like earth shattering news. What did you say?"

"I didn't know what to say. I just couldn't stand there so I left.."

"And then you started pacing in front of the car. Makes sense."

"How do you react to something like this? It makes me feel like our entire relationship was based on a lie. I'm not looking at Emma differently but it does changes things. She calls me Dad and I didn't even know about her birth. I trusted Tara blindly, I couldn't think of her lying. I looked at her today and I didn't see the woman I've come to love but someone who betrayed me. Imt trying to understand her point but I can't shake the image of her lying to me. It is horrible and I feel like shit. I can't think straight, everything seems deceiving to me right now."

She took my hand and put her head on my shoulder. "I know. This is an awful situation and I can imagine your disbelief but you're not the one who is raising a child who isn't your's. You're upset that she betrayed you but she's practically raising a child who is a living breathing proof of betrayal for her. I know she hurt you, I get it but can't you? She has been hurt before, is it so hard to understand that she might want to protect the one thing that she loves so much. I'm your sister, I love you and I'm your side but as someone who's going to be a mother soon, it's not easy being a mother. It takes a lot to be a mother, and it takes even alot more to be a mother to a child who isn't your own."

"You're my sister, you're supposed to be on my side. You're making this more difficult."

She looked up and smiled "I'm being your sister. I'm on your side, I know how important this relationship is to you. I'm not justifying her actions and defending her, I'm saying this relationship is important for her as well. She isn't trying to sabotage your relationship, she was trying to protect your relationship with her daughter. She wasn't being a girlfriend but a mother. You can't understand that feeling but can't you just give her benefit of doubt?"

I didn't say anything, I didn't know what to say. It all did make sense but I wasn't ready to let it go just yet. I understand there must've been a reason but I'm still hurt.

"I know, okay? But I can't deal with it right now. It's been a long day. Can we just go home and sleep it off?"

Sapphire agreed and I called the driver to drive us home.

I went into my room and dropped myself on the bed. I stretched my hand when it accidentally hit the photo frame on my nightstand. I picked up the frame and looked at it.

It was a picture of me with my mom before she left. I was smiling so hard that I could feel my mouth hurting. My eyes were filled with joy and adoration for my mother. She was looking at me with the same love and affection that I've seen in Tara and I just looked how Emma looks at Tara. I was very happy until my mom left and never returned. I didn't understand the love of a mother until I met Tara and understood it is way deeper than we know. She is a great mother and there's no questioning there.

Everything makes sense but what doesn't make sense is that I'm still hurt. I could still feel the betrayal. I want to forgive her and move ahead but all I can think of is how she didn't trust me. I love Emma, she's an amazing kid and whatever her crap parents did does not define her. She's adorable and I can't look at her any differently when I understand how crappy parents can be sometimes but Tara didn't think I was worthy enough to know the truth about my kid. She calls me Dad, and I let her, not because of some obligation but because I do feel like her Dad. I love her just like I would love my kid and it ain't gonna change.

I took out my phone and there were several voicemails of Tara. I deleted every one of them without listening. I can't deal with her without bursting into flames and saying something I'll deeply regret. I'm angry, I'm furious, and above all I feel worthless. She couldn't trust me, she doesn't trust me.

I tossed my phone aside and closed my eyes in hope of some sleep without thinking about Tara or today. I didn't even bother changing the clothes.