My Little World

Chapter Thirty Seven

Tara's POV

It's been six months since the night I talked to Xavier about his mother. It spoiled his mood so much that I didn't bring it up again. I've meet his mother few times ever since to know her more and convince her to talk to Xavier. She's is really nice person, very kind and humble. I hate lying to Xavier about something so important but I know if I say anything it'll backfire and make things worse.

In the past six months Sapphire has given birth to an adorable baby boy. The family is so happy and Emma absolutely loves him. Jessica came to visit for three months which made Emma even more happier. She was on cloud nine until last night when she realized Jessica is leaving today.

I drove to the restaurant I was meeting Jessica before dropping her off at the airport.

"You're late." She said as she stood up to hug me.

"Yeah I'm sorry I had to drop by the office." I said and sat down.

She gave me a wine glass "here" I took a big sip "I've ordered for both of us."

We spend our last lunch taking about her work, my work, Emma and boys. It was like the good old days again.

"So he doesn't get the hints? That's a bummer."

She laughed "It is. I've everything but nada. I'm thinking it is not in my stars."

"You really like him?"

"Yeah. It's crazy because I never get involved with anyone I work with but there is something about him. He is kind and compassionate. He loves his work just as much as I do which is very hot. And he has the smile that will eventually kill me."

I shook my head "Just ask him out already."

"Yeah? Like you're asking Xavier to marry you" she wiggled her eyebrows and I choked on my food.

"What? What are talking about?"

"You've been together for over a year now. You live together. You're crazy in love with each other and most importantly you're raising a daughter together. You're practically married."

"We love each other and everything is great but I haven't thought about it. Moreover shouldn't he be the one to ask me about it? I mean if say, I do think about marriage and a life together and everything he should too."

"Oh come on, you're a independent woman with great standing in society. You can propose to him. Equal rights and everything."

I just made a face but didn't say anything. I checked my watch and it was time for her flight. "Come on, let's put you on a plane."

We paid the bill and left for the airport. It was quiet ride. My mind kept drifting to the thing Jessica said. I do want to marry Xavier. The past year has been the happiest of my life inspite of the ups and downs. He's always there which gives me great comfort and he's great with Emma.

We're a family, a happy family. Our lives together is insync and we enjoy every moment of it. Sure we've fights and difference but we always sort it out. Makeup sex is always a great reward.

When I look at our lives, it makes me smile and I want nothing but to spend the rest of my life with him but I don't want to freak him out. I don't want to pressure him into marrying me. It would be unfair. Also his parents didn't had a successful marriage and there is still baggage from that. I don't want him to do anything he doesn't want to do. Not even for me.

We reached the airport, unloaded her luggage and hugged for five minutes. I've spent alot of time with her in the past three months but it doesn't seem enough. I miss her so much.

We bid goodbyes and she started walking towards the departure gate.

"Jessica" I shouted and she turned to look at me "Ask the guy out. You deserve to be happy."

She smiled and left.

I drove to the daycare to pick up Emma but they said Xavier already took her. I drove back home.

I entered our home and it strangely quiet which never happens when Emma is home. I searched for either one of them and found Xavier standing in our balcony. He was tapping his foot rapidly.

"You're tapping your foot." I pointed out which made him turn to face me. He was surprised or shocked, I couldn't tell.

"You're home. Early. Home early. Yeah. Why? Great" he was rambling and tapping his foot again.

"You're doing that again. Something is wrong isn't it? You tap your feet when you're nervous. What's wrong?" I started getting worried. He tried to get hold of my hand to calm me down but it was too late.

"Emma?" I asked "Where is she? They told me you picked up her where is she? It is too quiet-"

"Okay okay. Calm down. Just hear me out-"

"What?" His tone sent me to autopilot. I couldn't hear him anymore. I was searching the house like a lunatic. "Emma? Sweetie? Are you here? EMMA?" I shouted.

After what felt like a forever for me she came out of the laundry room. She took baby steps and stood in front on me. I ran to her and gave her a big hug.

"Oh honey why-" my eyes read what her shirt said and I gasped. I couldn't believe it. I took a step back and looked at Xavier who was looking at me with a faint smile.

"I had it all plan in a way better and romantic way I swear but I got nervous and you went crazy" I laughed knowing how true it was.

He finally got down on one knee. Open the box that had the prettiest ring I've ever seen and cleared his throat.

"I love you. I love your little family and I want a whole lifetime of this. I'm not very good at this but being with you and near makes me want to get better. The future scares me, terrifies me honestly but it makes me happy and I want and I want that happy with you. Even on my horrible days when nothing makes sense and I hate everything around me, you're the only person that makes sense to me. It's you, in thousand lifetimes, in hundred lives, it is always going to you." He finished his speech and I was a crying mess. He pointed to Emma's shirt which said will you marry Daddy? And I laughed with happy tears in my eyes.

"Yes. I want nothing more than for us to be a real family and a lifetime of joy."

He got up, put the ring on my finger and kissed me immediately. I laughed and smiled in-between the kiss but he didn't let go. I was engaged. I was happy. I finally had a man who loves me so madly.

When I said all those things in my mind the guilt of not telling Xavier about his mother rose. We're going to share our lives together and I can't start that with dishonesty. He doesn't deserve that.

"You left me" Emma broke our kiss and my thoughts. Xavier laughed and picked her up. They hi-fived and started giggling about something. All of that just made me more guilt. I've to tell him before this situation gets worse.

"Hey, you okay?" Xavier asked.

I hugged him and Emma.

"Happy. I'm happy"

He really needs to know. I can't lie to the mad I love anymore.