My Little World

Chapter Twenty Eight

Tara's POV

I woke up with the constant buzzing of my doorbell. I was still in my yesterday's clothes, I never made back to my room and my body hurts due to Emma's small bed with limited space.

I opened the door and came face to face with Sapphire.

"Hey. Good morning" she said cheerfully.

"Hey. What are you doing here so early in the morning?" I asked.

"You're a mess. Go clean yourself first."

"Yes but-"

"Just make your presentable enough to have a conversation."

I didn't argue with her so I did as she asked me to. I stepped into my bathroom and gasped at the sight of me. My mascara was smudged, my eyes were all red and puffy from all the crying. My hair were like a very badly constructed nest. My dress was creased and my body hurt.

I cleaned myself up and got dressed. I didn't bother with make-up or hair. I just let them loose.

I came out to see Sapphire standing in the kitchen fidgeting with the coffee machine.

"Oh my god" I gasped.

Sapphire looked at me, confused "What? What's wrong?"

"Emma's school. I've to go her to-"

"I dressed her up and send her with the driver. You can pick her up."

I smiled at her and sat on one of the kitchen stools.

"So, why are you here? Didn't Xavier tell you the whole story of my horrible horrible mistake?" I asked, sipping my coffee.

"Firstly, I came in to make sure you were okay which you were. Secondly, I wanted to make sure Emma went to school, that you didn't keep her home because you feel terrible."

I rolled my eyes but didn't say anything.

"Xavier did told me everything. I wasn't sure if you were up for talking.."

I sighed "I'm never going to be but I'm trying to be. I can't keep running forever."

"I get it. I totally get it but as his sister, I'm furious. You were supposed to trust him. You can't just hide something so huge from your boyfriend. I know being a mother and being a girlfriend are two different things but you guys weren't just girlfriend boyfriend, you were like a little family. He's hurt and it kills me to see him like this but I do understand your dilemma. You always think you're prepared for every kind of thing, like you know how to rationalize any situation, you know your strength and weakness and then you become a mother. It changes everything, it changes perspective, it changes black and white, it changes your beliefs, it changes right and wrong. I know you were just trying to a mother and sometimes it comes with a price. I know you were terrified but who isn't? We all are scared of some thing or the other but you gotta take that leap, you just didn't do it on time. There is no version were this would have been any less shocking than it is right now but hearing it from you would've cushioned the blow."

"I know. I've been playing in my head on a loop. I'm aware of the screw up. I just thought I would be prepared when it happened but turns out I'm never going to be prepared for this."

She put two pieces of bread in the toaster and took out fresh fruit juice from the refrigerator. She placed it in front of me and motioned me to eat.

"I'm not hungry. How is Xavier doing?" I asked pushing the plate aside.

She placed it again in front of me "I wouldn't know, I didn't see him in the morning for breakfast so I'm assuming he didn't had any. You eat or else I'll lose my mind that both of you are not eating anything."