•Look me in my eyes• ---Book one---

•Lies unfold the truth•

The struggle was real. Last night I didn't sleep, I couldn't sleep. All I could think about was myself, of how selfish I was. Denying everything.

I had to get up out of bed. It was Monday morning and my first day back since the funeral. I felt aches in my head. Scared of what Cayden was going to say to me or if he was going to say anything at all. I put my clothes on and headed downstairs.

"Good morning sweetheart!" May said.

"Good morning." I said

"Goodnight sleep? You look a little tired. I could call the school tell them your not coming how does that sound?" She asked

"I'm fine I think I'll survive." Sometimes I think I say things that I don't mean to say, I really wanted to go back to sleep but I knew I had to go to school.

"Well if it's ok with you, Ben has this meeting down towards your school, really close. I know things aren't really good between you two right now but if you don't mind he's gonna take you for your first day." She said in the sweetest way possible.

Could things get any better, I have to take an awkward car ride with the man I just met.

"Yea that's ok." I mumbled.

•••••••••••••••••••••••

The car ride was SUPER awkward. I couldn't help but stare at him as he drove me to school, waiting for him to say something but we continued to sit in silence. So I just looked out the window.

"I'm sorry I couldn't come, things got frisky with court. I knew you'd hate me when you got here but you know." He said

"No I don't, I don't understand. Why? Just tell me why? Why did you leave? Why did you even bother trying to get me back, abandon her like that? Like she was nothing." I said trying to hold my tears back.

He looked down for a second and back to the road. Quiet for a second he proceeded.

"I was young and stupid. I never meant to hurt your mother. And if I could go back and apologize for the mistakes I've made, then I would." He said

"Mistake like me?"

He grew quiet trying to figure out what to say next.

"No need to say anything my self esteem is REALLY low right now." I said

"You were no mistake I...." Before he could finish I interrupted him.

"Stop for a second, you said I'm not a mistake. Then explain to me why you were such in denial about me. The ABUSE? Disappearance?" I said nearly yelling out of frustration.

"It's bad enough you didn't show up to the funeral, but no you didn't even COME to the hospital to even visit YOUR child." I said "WHY?"

"I did show up." He said

I was enraged, he's now LYING to me.

"YOUR LYING TO ME YOU WERE NEVER THERE!!!!" Now screaming.

All of a sudden he slams on his brakes.

"I WAS THERE I WAS ALWAYS THERE. I DID SHOW UP TO THE HOSPITAL BUT SHE WOULDN'T ALLOW ME TO SEE YOU. AND SHE WOULD NEVER LET ME VISIT YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY DAMN TIMES IVE APOLOGIZED!!!" At that point I knew I'd pissed him off.

What is he trying to say my mother was lying to me. She would never she was my best friend. I looked back at him. He was now staring at his feet with tears nearly in his eyes.

"What are you trying to tell me my mother lied?" Looking at him with tears streaming down my face.

"I never said that." Now in a quiet tone in his voice.

Curiosity filled my body wanting to ask so many questions. But after what just happened I didn't think now was a Good time.

••••••••••••••••

It was 5th period, I was supposed to meet Zoe at Starbucks for free period. But before I left someone slams my locker door.

"What the hell!!" I say

"Hey girl." I see Cayden standing before me leaning against my locker.

"What are you doing?" I ask him

"I can't say hi?" He asks

"You left me with no trace or even a simple note to say why you left or where you went. So no you can't."

He had this look of confusion all over his face. Then he starts to giggle.

"What's so funny?" I said

"Uhhhh. I don't know." He says
I rolled my eyes walking away. "Wait." He says.

"What. What do you want." I ask him.
"You has somethin of mines that I want back so if you don't mind I'd like it back." He said

And there I knew what he was talking about. But I hadn't even thought about it so I left it home.
"First that's not proper grammar second I don't have anything of yours so good bye."

Next thing I know my books are on the ground. Did he just book drop me? People around begin to stare and I begin to become nervous.

"Move along a-holes this is none of your business." He states to the public. He then takes my hand. I try to pull away.

"LET ME GO CAYDEN!!" I scream at the top of my lungs hoping that some teacher will hear me. He pulls me close our chests now touching. I begin to blush continually pushing away from him.

"Listen baby I would like you to give me my stuff back and this is the nicest way possible I could ask so don't make it harder on yourself." He says

I continue to try and break away but his grip is so tight on my arm it begins to hurt. It hurts so bad I start crying.

"Cayden your hurting me STOP!!" I say Looking him dead in the eyes.

He just stares at me for what felt like years. His grip loosens. I pull away and try to go for my stuff. He grabs my had again spinning me around pinning me to the locker behind us.

I could smell the beer in his breath as he continued to stare at me.

"STOP!!" I yelled out. He ignored me as he kept staring at me. He was drunk. But why?

"Do you like me?" He asked "Is that why you have my crap and won't give it back. Huh? Just for attention? From me? You shouldn't have I feel honored." I could hear the sarcasm in his voice. As his grip became more and more tighter he leans in closer into my ear.

"ANSWER me Mama you know you love me." He whispers. I didn't want to respond to his comments but I wasn't going anywhere with this. His hand then went from my hands to my arms getting a little to comfortable. That's when my reflexes hit me hard. I screamed and kicked him in the nuts.

Letting go of me and backing up I fell to the ground. I sat there crying. Why would he do this to me? He began cursing every word in the book holding is bulge. I made my move I got my stuff and ran.

•Sorry this was so short but I will most likely have a new chapter by Wednesday hope you like it.