•Look me in my eyes• ---Book one---

•Pop goes the wesel•

                Cayden's Pov

I stared deeply into the mirror retracing what happened. Yet again I let it get the best of me. I couldn't help but to think of all the sh•t that went down. What I did. I couldn't kept thinking about how helpless she was against my will. How I hurt her.  The tears that streamed down her face was embedded into my brain now. I continued to stare at myself in shame, my fathers pistol leaning onto the sink.  This has gotten the best of me. They said this would progress get better. What liars they are. I've done nothing but hurt people. It would go away they said. I want to be done, I didn't want to hurt her anymore. And I knew I would as long as I still laid my feet on the earths surface. She got me drunk. I can't do this anymore. No matter how many times I see her I lose control of myself. I am no longer there. All I do is hurt her no matter if it's emotionally or physically. If I'm not here I won't be able to hurt her again. But she's tried so hard to build something between us and it would crush her.

I couldn't take it anymore, I picked up the pistol laid it to my head. The tears didn't scare me. Images of her did. As one by one stream down my face. "This is it." I told myself.

WHAT THE HELL WAS I THINKING I CANT DO THIS!!! Without thinking I screamed, turned and pulled the trigger.

              ABBY's Pov

I sat outside waiting patiently for Cayden to arrive, but I got nothing. I looked stupid sitting here. I knew this was a bad idea I knew he would abandon me. Just as my thoughts were interrupted I herd a familiar voice.
"Hey Abby!!!" She said. I turned around to see my cousin Leianna standing before me. She had just moved back into town after moving to California for a job my uncle accepted. This was no surprise to me, she warned me ahead of time.

"Hey Leianna!!" I shot back. She hugged me then took a seat next to me.

"It's been so long, I've missed you. What are you doing here all alone?" She asks.

"I was waiting for somebody but I guess he's not coming." I said.  Before Leianna moved, me, her and Zoe were all a thing, one big group. She knows everything and I knew I had to catch her up on things.

"You mean Cayden?" She says. How does she know Cayden?

"Uhhhhh." I mumbled.

"Zoe caught me up on everything, I saw her in the hallway." She said with a smile. That smile quickly faded.
"I guess you didn't hear huh?" She asks me. Hear what? What happened?

"N.......no I didn't. What happened?" I ask her.

"Well." She says. "Jackson got a call from Cayden's father to say that he was admitted into the hospital and therapy." She said. Before she finished I interrupted her.

"Wait why." I tried to hold back the tears. Different emotions filling my body. Why was I feeling this?

"He........he tried to commit suicide last weekend." Her voice was soothing but it was to hard not to cry.

Before I knew it I was crying full tears. She leaned in close and hugged me. I felt a hand on my shoulder again and turned around. Jackie Standing tall before me. She kneels down wiping the tears off my face. I didn't care to think of the people standing staring at me.

           ••••••••••••••••••••••••••

I entered the hospital lost and confused. Jackie and Leianna standing behind me with full support. Jayda had to go to her little sisters rehearsal so Zoe agreed to come. I walked up to the desk and asked for directions. We ended up on the 5th floor. In the waiting room waiting to be called.

"Miss Silverstein." The nurse called out. "Now he's asleep so don't disturb him, he needs his rest. Now the only way you can see him is if you have some sort of relationship. Are you his girlfriend?" She asked. I didn't want to say yes, but the right thing to do was check on him and see how he was. After everything I continued to be as nice as I could to this jerk.

"Umm yes." I said.

"Already then this way." She said as I nodded in agreement. We made our way to his room.

Veronica sat next to him as his father sat in the other chair. She was crying and holding his hand and talking to him.

"Try and keep yourself ok sweetie." She said.

"Ok." I replied.

I walked over to Veronica. She stood up and hugged me. It felt like forever, like this hug would never break. I stared at him as his body laid still and stiff on the bed. He had nothing but a hospital gown on. His muscles showed through the thin layered shirt. His foot was propped up on the cast. Was this my fault? I couldn't help but sit and think and stare at him, as his body laid helplessly still.