•Look me in my eyes• ---Book one---

•If only•

Cayden's father had to go to work and Veronica had meetings with Cayden's therapists so I agreed to stay behind with him. The girls had left and said they'd be back tomorrow. He had been asleep for what felt like forever. Time passed as I dozed off. I woke up to the sound of grunting and got up. Stood tall over him, his eyes wide open looking into my eyes.

"Why are you here?" He asked me in this weak voice. I shake my head.

"Is that what really matters right now. Why did you do that? You scared the hell out of me. Was this my......" he stopped me before I could finish.

"Just stop please. This has nothing to do with you. So just leave." After sitting here for nearly 12 hours I REFUSED to leave.

"NO." I said firmly. He turns and looks at me. "I said I'd stay, so I'm staying." I said. "And you." I stopped for a second. "You are going to tell me what the hell was going through your mind to think that was a good idea." I'm not backing down on this fight.

He looks back at the ceiling and back at me.

"Do you really wanna know what the HELL I was thinking?" He says now pissed. "Do you or do you not." He said. I nodded my head.

"Fine then." He looks back at the ceiling again. "You...... I was thinking of you." He said. This isn't real.

"Did I disgust you so much you attempted suicided?" I asked.

Ignoring my question he continued." I was so f••••ing disgusted with MYSELF, what I did. You were on my mind. How I hurt you." He says.

I don't know whether to believe this or not. In his own little way he was apologizing. He felt some way about what he did. This whole time I thought he didn't care.

"I.....I have this disability, at times I can't control what I say or do. Like...... like I'm a whole different person or something. That's why I do the things I do around you." He looks at me with tears in his eyes.

"I......I" I had nothing to say. He likes me?

"Don't reply to that. I don't need you or want you to love me and even if you don't, it's for the better." He closes his eyes slowly dozing back to sleep. I ignore what he says and take my hoody off. I sat on the bed next to him. He opened his eyes again and looked at me.

"What are you doing I told you." Before he finished I stopped him.

"I know just go back to sleep." I say softly. I stretch out next to him wrapping my arm around him. He grunted in pain wrapping his arm around me. He kept me warm. And I loved it. He fell back to sleep with me next to him once more. But this time with more passion.