Burning House

Chapter 20

Later as I snuggled on Ace's bed he told me the details of Tristan and his trip. His voice alternated between anger and sorrow. Rachel and her army had been terrorizing the colonies looking for the three of us. According to a miner, they believed me to be dead after years of no sighting but they were vigilant Tristan and Killian were alive and well.

As I laid listening my mind ran through all the people of my colony and how much I cared about them. I was forced to leave and they still remained vigilant to me from afar. I bet that made Rachel pissed as hell. Because of that I could smile. She may have been a bully and my would-be executioner, but she would never have the people feel for her as they did for us. She would never have my family as she had wanted. I knew I had to talk with Killian again and explain better my reservation. He should know I had always loved him and that's why it's so much harder to forgive him.

Ace had patiently listened to me cry my eyes out earlier. Like always he made me calm enough to realize where I was wrong in the situation and where I was right. He then shared with me his reunion with Connor. The reunion was cut short by an elder who almost caught them in a heated embrace. Hence his reason for wanting me to stay the night. For Ace I'd always play the beard. As much as I disagreed with Ace that anyone would care if he and Connor were out. He couldn't see it though and didn't want to jeopardize his rank at this time.

"Do you think something bad is going to happen," I asked quietly leaning over the side of the bed to see his face.

"I feel it Pay. We all need to be very cautious in order for this to play out in our favor," he told me his arms stretched under his head on the ground.

"Crap," I said turning back over to stare at the ceiling.

"Crap," he said echoing my sentiments.

We stopped talking, our minds too absorbed with all the information. I wanted to ask Tristan his thoughts as well and reminded myself to do that tomorrow after I talked to Killian. Killian....his face was the last thing I pictured before my eyelids were too heavy to keep open. I drifted off to a deep dreamless sleep.

My heart thudded and my stomach pitched when Ace gave me a shake the next morning.

"Wake-up sleepyhead," he said gruffly. My eyelids flew open taking in my surroundings again. I was safe. I was in Ace's room, the nightmare I had been having melted away in my memory. Shaking I sat up slowly before heading to the bathroom.

Dry-heaving into the toilet, Ace knelt by me and grabbed my hair out of the way. He patted my back until I was done, which thank the lord was quickly as I hadn't ate since yesterday. I sat back on the floor and glanced at him. Ace's eyebrows were drawn together a worried expression etched in the lines around eyes.

"Nightmare," I told him breathless also telling myself so I'd calm down. "I also didn't eat much yesterday with all the excitement," I told him waving my hand around.

"Paige," he said in a scolding tone. I couldn't help but grin slightly.

"I know," I said patting his arm, "I'll do better today." I got up off the ground slowly and made my way to the living area. Ace followed me eyeing me suspiciously.

"What?" I asked throwing the blankets and pillows on the bed.

"Nothing," he said hiding a smile at my obvious annoyance. In no time we had his bed remade and he was heading to the shower. I took a look in the mirror before heading out. Yup, definitely look like I had spent the night tossing around. Too bad it wasn't with Killian and not from running from the demons in my dreams.

Sighing, I opened the door and let myself out. I came face to face with Killian. He looked me over from my messy hair, the clothes I wore yesterday, and down to my feet which were bare except for the shoes I had slipt on quickly. His eyes narrowed before he turned walking away from me.

"Wait, Killian," I said my legs finally started moving, "Kill," I tried again.

He stopped abruptly turning to face me. "Okay," he said folding his arms cross his chest. I took a second glance at those arms and broad chest. Yes, I definitely wish I had been with him last night.

I licked my lips to help form the words, "It's not what it looks like," I told him.

"What it looks like is you prefer being in his bed rather than mine," he said calmly. I searched his face and shook my head.

"I can't explain, it's not my place to say but it isn't what it looks like." I said my eyes pleading with his cold blue ones. Killian's face was shuttered his body pulled away from me.

"Why should I believe you," He said in a low voice.

"Because I'm not lying to you. I just can't betray my best friend. Please trust me," I was practically begging now. He was too standoffish. His words to cold.

"Like you trust me?" He asked. I gaped back at him.

"This is not the same thing and you know it Killian,"I said.

"Really because it looks similar to me. You want me to trust you that you aren't sleeping with Ace even though this is the second time I've seen you two sharing a room. And you can't tell me what's going on." He leaned his face into mine. His eyes pierced my heart.

"I can't tell you because it's not about me. And yes, I'm going to protect Ace." I said meeting his gaze. I felt my spine straighten with courage again. How dare he try and tell me the situations were in anyway similar.

"So you're choosing him over me," Killian stated.

"It's not about me choosing Ace or you. It's you trusting me that I'm doing the right thing." I was yelling now. A group walked by and we both fell silent till they were gone.

"I'm done trying Paige. I've been fighting to be back in your life since I've been here. I've told you over and over how much you mean to me. I can't change what happened to us back then but I would do it again to protect you." He said looking away from me for the first time.

"Kill-," I started to say but he cut me off.

"We don't trust each other Paige. Nothing I do can change your mind." Killian's voice wavered slightly.

"What are you saying?" I asked, my heart starting to hammer against my breast bone.

"I can't do this anymore Paige. I can't fight for us if you are against loving me again." His eyes were sad, his words shocking. I couldn't make myself form the words to tell him everything I had planned last night. Killian mistook my silence as guilt. He swept past me down the hall before I could comprehend why I wasn't going after him. Why wasn't I screaming at him to understand? For the first time in years I felt like a coward and very, very helpless.