LIMERENCE. / KTH

fourteenth thought

i wake up

and walk to the living room,

finding your mom cleaning up

the counters in the kitchen,

and setting up rice and fish.

she notices me,

stopping to listen to the sound

of my feet,

and invites me happily to the dining table.

"taehyung left for work this morning," she informs me.

"today is a friday, so he'll come back early."

friday.

the word makes me shiver.

it has stopped raining,

and as i look outside,

the plants and trees

are soaked in a light liquid.

off in the distance,

several electricity poles have fallen down.

the storm must've been pretty bad,

but as i was sleeping,

i probably didn't hear much of it.

i eat breakfast with your mom,

having casual conversation with her.

"i wish i knew what you looked like," she tells me.

"you must be very pretty."

i blush a little, and thank her.

i drink some of the tea,

and set it down on the table.

"tell me about your relationship with taehyung,"

she requests all of a sudden,

and i freeze.

i am embarrassed;

all of the things i did back then

were so childish and unthoughtful.

"i...used to like taehyung," i say,

moving a little in my seat.

"back in year 12 of high school.

taehyung was dating na seohee.

our teacher asked of us to write notes

to someone else in the classroom.

i decided to write to taehyung,

express my feelings to him,

thank him for protecting me

because he saved me from getting abused

by my former boyfriend."

your mom's face changes,

and i see the interest in her expression

to continue hearing my story.

"but the more i wrote about him,

the more i...fell in love."

i was supposed to stop falling in love a long time ago.

but i can't seem to let go of you.

i tell her about the night you found out about

seohee and hyukjae,

our night on the sidewalk,

the day after in school,

the few weeks that followed after

of our sweet relationship,

and how it ended abruptly,

leaving me in question of everything.

as i speak,

i relived the memory inside my head.

"i'm dating jeon jungkook now.

i don't feel the same way for taehyung anymore."

the two of us don't speak for a while.

then, your mother lifts open her mouth.

"areum, i think you still do."

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me, a fluff person, writes angst and sucks at doing so.