Rejected.

I put my hand in his. I made the decision to trust him and whilst doing that I whole heartedly believed that I was making the right decision by trusting him.

My sweaty hand grabbed onto his larger hand
"I do" I said "I do trust you" but those were the wrong words I realised how fatal my words were when I felt pain erupt within me.

Kill. That was what I wanted to do, no, that was what my wolf wanted me to do. My wolf wanted me to destroy my weakness and Jared was that weakness and for love, for being the one I truly loved, he would die.

My nails scraped at his hands which I had once been gently holding. My eyes which had once held love for Jared turned to rage and my emotions and thoughts were out of my control, completely taken away from me and replaced with a burning need to kill the man before me.

"Fight it Shanan, fight it. I know you can do it" his words would have once lit my heart up but now his words only fuelled my anger.
"Shanan stop!" I was vaguely aware of Will jumping in front of Jared to protect him from me.
"Shanan you don't know what your doing" but I didn't care for fairness.

When I had been fairly young my father had taught me how to kill someone with only two fingers. That had been a long time ago but that information had remained implanted in my brain and now I would put it to use.

I fell to the ground and just as I had predicted Will reached out to catch me
"Will don't" Jared warned as he realised I was luring Will into my trap but Will still proceeded to hold me in his arms. With my arms around his neck I stood taller and whispered in his ear
"Wrong move Will" and then I pushed my index finger and my middle finger into the weak spot behind his ear and applied a slight pressure and just like that Will was no longer a barrier in my way. He was dead and soon Jared would be too.

"Shan-" before Neena could speak I backhanded her sending her into unconsciousness or maybe death but at this moment I didn't care all that mattered was Jared; for better or for worse I would defeat him.

"Jared do you really care about me enough to give your own life up?" this was something even Will couldn't do but I knew Jared could which is why my wolf wanted him gone
"I do" sorry Jared, I thought but I was incapable of voicing the words
"Shanan, trust me" I do
"What?" I asked instead of saying what I really wanted to
"Trust that I will save you" for a second I grasped control over myself
"I do trust you Jared, it's myself I don't trust".

Jared opened his mouth to speak but I shoved my hand into his chest, all I had to do was twist and Jared would be gone. I would kill Jared, I wanted to but I couldn't
"Jared run" I sobbed as I began to realise what I was doing
"No" he said, stubbornly "fight it. I know you can". If I killed Jared I wouldn't have to give up my wolf and I would be the best leader. My wolf was a part of me.

But I loved Jared.

I fought harder than I ever had before. I pictured my wolf leaving my body, I pictured my wolf disappearing and then I felt it. I felt as though my heart were being ripped out.

I kept strong though because I knew Jared would be there to fill the holes. It wasn't my love for Will or Neena that allowed me to defeat my wolf. It was Jared and I realised that was because he owned my heart. He was the one, my other half, he wasn't my wolf mate he was my true mate.

Now that I had no wolf influencing me I was free to make my own decision and I was choosing....
"Jared".

I saw him collapse on the ground and I realised with a sudden shock that he owned my heart but I had attempted to rip out his heart. I had hurt the one person I was willing to live for but would he overlook that?

Would he accept me? Or would he be a part of the long list of people that had rejected me.