The Gay Band Book

Spooky Baking & Pumpkin Carving [Phan]

"Phil!" Dan called to his flatmate. "Are we filming spooky baking or not?"

Phil's mop of ebony hair appeared at the corner of Dan's vision, and he turned around as Phil engulfed him in a tight embrace. "Of course, I was just waiting for you to say the word!"

Dan rolled his eyes fondly before pulling away. "Well let's get to it, then."

Phil nodded excitedly before bounding away to his room to fetch the camera.

"Hey guys!" Phil greeted the camera enthusiastically.

"Today we're filming some SPOOKY BAKING!" Dan added, grinning.

"This time its some SPOOPY PUMPKIN FLAVORED PUMPKIN COOKIES!"

"How thrilling," Dan noted to the camera.

"Feat some very spooky jack-o-lanterns!" Phil said, flicking the lights off and making the room dark, except for the glow of the candles from inside the pumpkins.

"Phil," Dan laughed. "I love the pumpkins, but turn the lights back on!"

"But the spookiness!"

"We've severely overused the word spooky, just turn the lights on."

Phil complied, and then began to rattle off the ingredients needed.  "Now, for this you'll need...." he turned to the counter, grabbing the sugar and butter and a few other ingredients. "These ingredients!"

"Well what are they, Phil?"

"Um, sugar, butter--"

"No no you spork, HOW much of them? They can clearly see WHAT they are."

"Oh," Phil laughed lightly. "Sorry. About--"

"Wait," Dan interrupted again.

"What?"

"Where's the pumpkin spice?"

"Uh...um...we needed that?"

"Phil," Dan groaned, dragging out the 'l' in Phil's name. "When you went to the shop, I swear I told you to get pumpkin spice!"

"Sorry!"

"Well, we can't bake pumpkin cookies without pumpkin spice..."

"Then we'll just go buy some!" Phil chirped.

Dan let out a sigh and turned the camera off. "I guess so. Well, come on then."

It took longer than it should have to just get out the door. First off all, Phil had misplaced his space coat, the only one he would wear (he absolutely refused to wear any other jacket) and Dan couldn't find his scarf. Or hat. Or even his jacket.

"Dan, have you seen my space coat?" Phil called from the living room.

"No? Have you seen my dementor jacket?"

"Um, no..."

Dan sighed.

"Last time I saw it you were putting it back in the closet."

"That closet is Satan..." Dan muttered. "If I try to find my jacket, I think it'll eat my hand. The jacket is long gone."

"Oh  come on Dan, stop being so dramatic!" Phil said, walking into the room, now wearing his well-known space coat.

"I'm telling you, the jacket is GONE! Gone, Phil! Gone!"

Phil shook his head and went to open the closet door.

A bunch of things fell out on top of Phil's head, and he shrieked in surprise.

"SEE! I TOLD YOU!"

Phil shook out his hair and bent down to pick up a few of the objects that fell. "No, you just put alllllll of the random objects you find in our apartment that you don't know where to put, in there."

Dan was silent, not answering the question. But then he exclaimed. "Well, I see my jacket's in there...."

Phil grabs the jacket and hands it to Dan, rolling his eyes all the while. "Let's go, we found your frickin Dementor jacket, so now can we go?"

"No," Dan said with a huff. "I need my scarf and hat!"

"Check your pockets."

Dan put on the jacket and patted the pockets. Indeed, his scarf and hat were balled up in the pockets. "Ah." he said softly. "Thank you."

"You're welcome," Phil chuckled. "Now let's go."

They stepped out into the nippy cold, and were instantly hit with a barrage of snowflakes.

"What the hell?!" Dan exclaimed. "It's OCTOBER! Why's it snowing?!"

Phil shivered. "Wow, its really cold. Dan, can I share your scarf?"

"What? Oh, um, yeah?" Dan unwrapped some of the scarf from around his neck and offered one of the sides to Phil.

"Thanks," Phil murmured, sliding the scarf around his head and cozying into it. Dan looks at him sideways and smiles, wrapping the rest of the scarf around his neck. Now, the scarf isn't that large and here there are two giant nerds, and the scarf is not meant for two people. But, they make it work. Dan wraps his arm around Phil's waist and Phil wraps an arm around Dan's shoulder, and they walk shoulder to shoulder to the shop, finding warmth in each other.

At the shop, Phil untangles himself from Dan's scarf and bounds off to find the pumpkin spice. But on the way to the spices aisle, he passes a display of pumpkins. His eyes light up with an idea...

"Dan!" Phil called out excitedly, running over to Dan, who was mulling over the cider donuts.

"Hmm?"

"WE SHOULD BUY A PUMPKIN!"

"Phil, we've already bought like three. And we already carved them."

"EXACTLY, BUT WE CAN CARVE THIS ONE AND INCLUDE IT IN THE VIDEO!"

"Well, um...sure, I guess."

Phil grinned and hugged Dan, briefly kissing his cheek, too, before leading Dan to the pumpkins.

"Whoa, these are good sized pumpkins," Dan remarked.

"Yeah, and that one looks like you!" Phil teased, pointing to a certain lumpy looking pumpkin.

"Oh shut up!" Dan huffed, playfully shoving Phil's shoulder.

Phil giggled and picked up a different pumpkin. "I think I like this one. What do you think?"

"Sure, I don't really care."

"Alright! Then I choose you, Mr. Pumpkin!"

"C'mon, let's go pay for this, you fricking nerd."


Once at home, Dan set the pumpkin on the table where they'd carve it soon.

"Hey, I'll go get my other camera from my room, just leave the camera in the kitchen," Phil instructed.

"Alright." Dan nodded.

Once Phil came back and set up the camera, and they had set up the pumpkin carving station, they began to film.

"Well, since we had to go to the shop to buy the pumpkin spice," Dan started out, but stopped as his eyes widened. "Shit, Phil! The pumpkin spice!"

"Oh, don't worry! I ran off to get it right before you paid for the pumpkin!"

"Oh, phew, okay. Good."

"Well, since we had to go to the shop to buy the pumpkin spice," Dan restarted. "We bought a pumpkin, too! Because Phil absolutely insisted we buy one."

"Well you could've said no!"

Dan shrugged. "Anyways, yeah, we're gonna carve this motherfucker!"

"Dan! Now I'll have to bleep that out!"

Dan laughed. "You're welcome."

"I hate you."

"No you don't."

"Fine."

"So, you wanna carve one side and I'll carve the other?"

"...We need to scoop the stuff out, first."

Dan facepalmed. "Of course. I'll go find a knife."

Dan came back with the knife and violently plunged the knife into the pumpkin, beginning to carve the top off.

"DAN! I DIDN'T SAY YOU COULD STAB  IT! YOU KILLED IT!"

"That's what you do to pumpkins, Phil."

Phil looked at the pumpkin in mock horror. "I can't believe you just did that in front of me!"

"Whoops." Dan shrugged, a smirk on his features. "You can scoop it."

"Why do I have to?" Phil whined.

"You're the one who wanted the pumpkin in the first place."

Phil pursed his lips but resigned and nodded.

About 15 minutes later, Phil had roped Dan into helping scoop the pumpkin, but now the pumpkin was cleaned out and hollow.

Phil looked at the camera, and, holding the knife to the skin of the pumpkin, he said with a grin, "I'mma carve my side of the pumpkin to be the scariest thing...Dan's face."

"Hey! Shut up!" Dan shrieked, laughing. "I'm carving my  side as our lord and savior, Shrek, of course."

"Dan, no!"

"Oh Dan yes." Dan chuckled darkly as he plunged the knife deep into the pumpkin (again).

"Don't cut yourself!"

"Um..." Dan slowly held up his hand, and Phil gasped. But, Dan's hand was fine.

"Daaaaaaaaan!" Phil groaned. "Don't scare me like that!"

"Love you~"

"I'm not speaking to you. Just carve the pumpkin."

In the end, the pumpkins came out very successful. Dan's Shrek face was, in Dan's words, "Shrektacular."

And Phil's looked....well...

"Phil, what the hell!" Dan had laughed. "That doesn't look like me! It looks like a demented demon version of me!"

"It's your true form," Phil had replied.

But overall, they were happy with the pumpkin. And yes, the cookies also came out great.

Even if they added too much pumpkin spice.