I See You. (Camren)

Chapter Thirty Seven.

Lauren.

I pace around my apartment, my heart beating out of my chest as I check my watch for the twentieth time, Normani has probably only just showed up at Camila's, so that means I've probably got another twenty minutes before she gets here, and I am so nervous.

I don't even know why I am nervous, I guess maybe because it was our first real fight, we haven't actually had one so serious yet, and I'm scared, I don't want things to end between the two of us over this, I asked her over to talk but I don't even know what I'm going to say, I'm actually hoping that she does most of the talking.

I think I have finally accepted that Camila didn't mean what she said, she didn't mean for it to come across that way, maybe I just completely overreacted, I have a tendancy to do that, I guess it's one of my bad traits, but I can't help it sometimes you know.

I hear the doorbell ring and completely freeze, that can't be her? I've got another eighteen minutes, there's no way, it's someone else, it is totally not going to be Camila on the other side of that door, maybe it's one of my neighbours, they probably need sugar or something, that's totally it, it's not Camila.

The doorbell rings again and I realise I'm still just standing here staring at the door, I take a deep breath and shake my hands, taking long strides towards my door before swinging it open, it's not one of my neighbours.

"Hi" Camila says twisting her fingers, looking up at me through her eyelashes.

"Hi" I breathe out.

I open the door wider, watching as she walks into my apartment, I close the door softly behind her, and before I could offer her anything, she's looking at me and talking.

"Lauren, I am so incredibly sorry, I know you took it like you don't have a say in Harmony's life whatsoever, but I didn't mean for it to come across that way, because it is far from the truth, you have every right to what happens in her life, you deserve to know about everything, you have been there for us so much over the past few months, she even calls you mama, and you have no idea how much that truly warms my heart to hear her call you that"

I just stand here stock still and listen to her talk, I know I should probably try and interrupt her, but my brain and mouth don't exactly seem to be working right now.

"I'm sorry, I should have told you about Jacob, you had every right to know about him, and I should never have tried to keep it a secret from you, I hate myself for doing so, I was completely in the wrong, I know that now, I guess at the time I was so heated and so busy feeling sick that I practically said Harmony never lived, that I couldn't see past it and think about how you would feel about it all, and I know that's not an excuse, I've just never really had to share myself or Harmony with anyone, and then you come waltzing into my life, and it's like my life isn't my own anymore, because it's not, we share things with each other, that's the whole point you know, that's what you do in a relationship, you tell your other half everything, and I'm sorry for not telling you and not wanting to tell you, I really am"

"Camz" I try talk but she's quick to stop me.

"No Lauren, let me finish please, I was thinking about what I have wanted to say since you asked me over here tonight, and I've been reciting it over and over in my head, and I need to get it out before I explode, I know I might not be making complete sense, because I am just trying to get it out quickly, because it's just spinning round and round in my head and it's driving me insane" Camila continues to rant.

"Okay" I nod.

"Thank you, I can't apologise enough, but I'm sorry and I love you and Harmony loves you, and you're her mama Lauren" Camila looks at me with a smile, her eyes glistening with tears, she takes a few steps closer to me and I meet her half way.