Brave Enough To Love Again

Chapter 30

Eden

DING! DONG!

It must be Keane. I couldn't let him see me like this.

"Megan, it must be Keane. You open the door and tell him I'm under the shower and that you and I have something important to talk about, and that I will call him later."

She did as I told her and came back soon, "He said, he will wait for your call." I nodded my head, "Thanks, Bobbie. I didn't want him to see me like this." Megan sat back down in front of me and grabbed my hands again, "Again, Ems. What you did to Vic was purely in self defense. Don't you dare blame yourself or torture yourself with thoughts that say otherwise. You're the least violent person I know, so for you to actually physically hurt someone... Everyone would have acted the same way as you did."

I couldn't say anything, so I just nodded my head in agreement despite me disagreeing with her words, since I knew that an argument with her was a losing battle.

Not everyone would have acted the same way. I knew everything could or would have turned out differently, with no violence involved, had I not chosen to just sneak out on him. It was my fault. I should have confronted him and talked to him when he wasn't drunk. I should have broken up with him like an adult, not like the coward little girl that I was. It was my fault for letting everything go so far.

I knew she would disagree with those thoughts so I kept them to myself. We sat there in silence for a while. She just let me calm down and just caressed my hands with her thumbs.

"Can we please talk about something else?" I asked, "I don't want to waste another second with thoughts of Vic. Don't you think it's enough for one day too?" My pouting and pleading tone made Megan smile and she nodded at me, "Yes! Enough of him!" She hugged me so tight I had trouble breathing. "Thank you for finally telling me, Ems! It was killing me, that you thought you couldn't share those things with me. Please, please, don't ever, not even for a nano second, ever hesitate to tell me anything you want. Anything. Whatever it is. Okay?" I nodded. "Promise?" I grinned at her, "Promise!"

I pulled away from Megan, "Excuse me for a sec," I stood up to grab my bag. After rummaging through it to look for tissues, I blew my nose and went to the bathroom to look at myself in the mirror. My face was a mess, my eyes were puffy and red, so was my nose.

No, Keane definitely shouldn't have seen me like this. Crying over a man, no, not just any man, but because of my ex. He mustn't find out about what happened between Vic and me. I can't let him know what a brainless idiot I was, maybe still am. Stop it now! Enough! There is no time for that now. I can think later when Megan is not around.

I splashed cold water onto my face and wiped it dry all the while trying to push back more thoughts of Vic into the back of my mind. Shaking my head, taking a deep breath and slowly releasing the air from my lungs, I stared into the mirror again. "Keane. Think about Keane," I murmured to myself in command. Then it hit me, he wanted me to call him, so I rushed back to the living room and grabbed my phone to call him. Every single thought of Vic disappeared from my mind, just like that.

While his phone was ringing I cleared my throat and said a couple of words just to hear my voice to ascertain that I didn't sound like someone who just bawled her eyes out. My voice seemed fine, no sign at all that I had shed a single tear. When he finally picked up, my heart began to race in excitement. I had missed him so much, and we had only been  apart for about fourteen hours.