Jack Barakat x Terri Amess : My Only One. [Requested]

Chapter XXI

A/N: I'm sorry. This is the shortest part of the fic. But I guess it's not that boring? Enjoy. :) 

Never in my life have I ever felt guilty and disappointed. I could see the pain in Jack's eyes as he remembered my words, and it hurt me to see him fake a smile. "You're right. I'm sorry." I heard him say as his eyes looked back into the stars. Now they were starting to get cold, distant, and void with any emotion. A new wave of fear started to rush over me, a fear that Jack might turn back into that asshole he once was to me, and the fact that I couldn't do anything about it now was starting to make me shiver. 

"Are you cold?" he asked me, and I could see the warmth in his eyes again as he smiles softly towards me. I shook my head, completely confused at the sudden change of emotions, but glad that Jack wasn't planning on changing. I could hear him sigh softly through his nose as he stood up and offered his hand to me. "Come on, it's late. I'm taking you home." 

The walk towards his car was slow and silent. Neither of us said a word, and it was starting to eat me alive. I glanced up at him, instantly regretting it as I saw the hurt in his eyes as he stared at the ground. And seeing him like that made me hate myself for having to reject him, for having to say all the words I didn't want, for having this. As we made our way to the car, he still insisted on being the gentleman he wanted to be, jogging a few paces ahead as he opened the door for me. 

"Jack, I - " I tried to say before I felt my voice dry  as he looked at me expectantly. I wanted to tell him, I don't know why I can't. He has to know, he deserves to know, but for some reason, my mouth stays hanging open, and all I was able to say was, "I'm sorry." 

Jack pulled on a tight smile, and I'm not sure if it was forced or not. "It's okay," he reassured me before closing my door and heading to the driver's seat. He climbs in and closes his door, giving me a glance before putting his key on the ignition. The car roars to life but Jack doesn't do anything, his hand remained frozen on the steering wheels. "Jack?" I called out to him, making he look at me in surprise. "Oh, I'm sorry. It's just," he chuckled shyly as he turned towards the road, his expression blank. "Please, don't hate me, but I just can't stop loving you." 

I felt a pang in my chest as he stepped on the gas pedal. I never wanted him to forget about his feelings for me, I loved him back, but this was for the best. And now I'm not so sure whether I want to do what's best anymore. 

But I don't want to hurt him.

"Please," I felt my voice tremble as my eyes started to sting. "Just don't fall in love with me."

"Why, Terri?" he was looking at me now, his voice was frustrated and desperate. "Can't you see I don't understand? Terri, it's you. It's always been you. Can't you at least give this a chance?" 

Hearing those words from him made me realize just how scared I was of what was going to happen to me. I realized how short everything was going to be for me, and how I used to not care about it, but now that I've got Jack, it was starting to dawn on me how I was not ready to leave him. Nausea started to fill into me as I muffled my crying with my hands, failing miserably. I could feel the car brake to a stop as Jack tried to comfort me, apologizing for the things he didn't do.

"It doesn't fucking matter!" I screamed, gasping as tears seem to run endlessly from my face. "It doesn't fucking matter because I'm sick. I have cancer, okay, Jack? And it's already in the fourth stage and I'm going to fucking die."