Dan The Dad (Phan)

27

A/N sorry for taking so long to update, I had the flu, it was awful. But I'm sure the story of how some moron sneezed on me while in the grocery store check out isn't the story you want to hear about, Instead, I give you this weird filler/info chapter. Don't worry, next chapter will be waaaay more exciting.

Holy crap. I just made a pregnant girl cry, I was hurting Phil, only thinking of myself, and was condemning a innocent baby to live on the streets of London in winter with its sixteen year old mother. What kind of monster was I?

"I'm sorry." I said to the quiet table. "I just had a moment. I'm sorry, I didn't mean it. I don't know why I just freaked out like that." I said. Holly just looked at me and gave me a smile.

"I understand, you're probably just scared." She said.

"Yeah." I agreed, that among many,
many other things. "I want the baby." I lied to them. I decided I was just going to do this for her and Phil, I couldn't risk losing him again do I'd do this for him.

I looked at Holly with her very young looking face and I felt guilt. I could help this poor girl and make Phil happy at the same time, I just had to suck up the fact that I didn't know if I could love this baby like I loved Megan. I was do afraid to talk about it anymore with Phil because it would probably make me sound like an extreme dick. This baby would be different from Megan.
I would try though.

I apologized again before Phil and I left. I got on my phone to drown out the silence of the cold walk. It wasn't the good, peaceful kind of silence, it was a thick angry quiet. I could almost hear Phil's mind ticking like a time bomb, his mouth would explode any second.

"What the hell were you thinking?! You didn't tell me you were going to do that!" He yelled at me in a quiet tone so passerby wouldn't wonder.

"I know, I swear I'm sorry. I freaked out at the last minute." It was a lie, I had been planning on doing that since last night.

"Would you get off your phone and just talk to me for a second?" He scolded me.

"I can't." I told him.

"And why not?" He asked.

"I'm buying baby stuff, if we don't get it now we won't have everything by the time he arrives." I said.

"Oh." Phil said simply no longer seeming as mad.

"Did you have a name in mind?" I asked him.

"Hmm, no, I've thought about it but nothing's really stuck in my brain." He said "maybe something that starts with an X"

"What names even start with an X?" He shrugged and I opened a new tab on my phone's browser and looked it up.
I looked at the list apprehensively.

"Xenophon" I laughed at one of their names.

"No, definitely not. What else is there?" He asked.

"Xenos, Xayvion, Xan, Xen, Xzander.... Oh! Here's a good one, Xavier. It's. It too wild but it still starts with an X." I said.

"I like that too." Phil agreed "I think we have our name. This is fun." Phil said.

"Yeah." I admitted with a little smile "It actually is." This was exactly how I'd always imagined.

"Did I tell you what I'm getting Megan for her birthday Monday?" He asked.

"No?"

"Since she likes to play house so much, I'm ordered her this gigantic dollhouse mansion with working light switches and everything. It's going to be bigger than her." He said proudly, causing raise my eyebrows.

"And where did you plan on putting it?" I asked my voice going high in surprise.

"Dunno." He shrugged.

"I've already got the stuff to make my old room hers and I plan on doing it the day of so I'm sure we can squeeze it in there." I said.

"Can I help?!" He asked with excitement.

"I was actually going to ask. You'll probably have to finish it too because I have to go into her school at the end of the day and bring the class cupcakes."

"Oh, that's alright, I have no problem with that." He answered.

We walked quietly again just enjoying each other's company and the scenery of snow on the ground and the rooftops.

"I think I'm going to tell Megan after I bring her home today." I announced.

"Are you sure?" He asked.

"Yeah, might as well get the first half of this done. The hardest part is going to be telling our families." I said.

"Don't worry about that right now, I have a little bit of a plan for that, but I can't explain it right now." He said and I gave him a scared look.

"Don't worry I'm not going to go and do anything stupid without you knowing." He laughed.

"You had me worried for a second." I said.

We got home and cuddled up together on the couch and watched a movie until it was time to go get Megan. Phil decided to go with me this time to get her which made me feel like we were a real family.
She held Phil's hand and not mine today and they jabbered away about childish things like what socks would look like if they were shoes. I felt my confidence start to grow to tell her about the baby when we got home.

I knew that this was far from over, if anything it was all just staring.
I was glad I had begged Phil back, I didn't know if I'd ever be able to do what I've done so far without him. Yeah, he did get us into this new baby situation, but he still loves and puts up with all the stupid stuff I do.

I looked over at him holding Megan's hand and he was smiling about something she had just said. I could tell he loved her like his own. It took him a while to love her just as I do, but he did. It gave me hope about the new baby, if Phil was able to love a child that wasn't his then so could I.

"I love you." I looked at him and said suddenly. He looked a bit surprised because it was unlike me to ever say anything like that in public. It was time I dealt with that too.

"Oh. I love you too." He answered still in surprise.

"Awww!" Megan cooed making me chuckle. "Daddy loves Phil! Daddy loves Phil!" She teased out loud which I also didn't even mind.

"I think she ships us Dan." Phil said.

"What's that?" She asked.

"Don't you worry about that right now. I still have some time left with you before you become an angsty teen and you start shipping and listening to k-pop and dying your hair crazy colors because you think it makes you stand out but really you're just doing what everyone else is because teenagers are just sheeple manipulated by the Hollywood industry and the music industry because no one is ever a free individual and we all just-"

"Dan." Phil stopped my rant and I looked down at Megan who looked confused. "I know where you were going with that and let's save the existential crisis for when we get home."

"Oh, yeah. Right. Don't want to end up face down in the snow along the pavement." I said.

"I do! We could make snow angels!" Megan said cheerfully.

"Existential crisis snow angles." Phil said.

"Why do you keep saying that?" Megan asked.

"I'll explain later." I said with a laugh.

"Oh no. Stop teaching her to be like you." Phil joked as Megan grinned up at me.