My Shadow

Chapter 12

Essa

He took a deep breath." Hey Tress I need to tell you something but I'm not sure how to say it. So I'm just going to say it and hopefully it doesn't come out badly. Tress I'm Stefan the guy you've been texting for months." What!?

I took a deep breath. Why were tears forming in my eyes? I should be glad right? That I finally met him. I put breakfast on two plates quickly and ran into my room. I didn't want to talk to him or see him.

"Tress, open up please let me explain." He said while knocking on my door. He lied. He lied to me. How could I believe anything. 'You know there is a good reason. Listen to him.' No, I was not going to listen to him. I realized it was unreasonable but I didn't want to hear him out.

He knocked for the next hour. Not loudly but loud enough to get my attention. "Tress, you didn't tell me who you were either so this isn't just all my fault." He said with hurt in his voice. I just wanted to hug him and comfort him.

I was still unreasonablely hurt. How could he not tell me. I laid in bed with his sweatshirt wrapped around me. I wanted his comfort. I wanted him to say everything is going to be okay. I wasn't listening to him though.

'He told me his name. It's Stefan. He's the guy I've been texting for months. Spirit I'm so hurt what do I do?' I texted Spirit. The tears by now were free flowing down my face. They wouldn't stop. I had no intention of letting them stop. I decided to journal. It was hard with all the knocking. I would manage.

Dear diary,
Why didn't he tell me? Why didn't you tell him? I didn't think he'd be him. Shouldn't you be relieved though? You loved Shadow for the way he looked and his personality. you love Stefan for his personality. Having the same personality you love them both. I know I hurt but it's just unreasonable. I couldn't stop crying, I can't. He's still knocking after four hours. I just want to hug him, kiss him even. Tell him everything is okay. I'm not going to. I can't. "Tress, you didn't tell me who you were either so this isn't just all my fault." He said. That hurt. Doesn't the truth always hurt. He told you his biggest secret. His secret that he had money. He was afraid you would change if you knew. He was afraid he'd lose you. Yet you can't expect the fact that he unintentionally lied. You can't forgive him for the same mistake you made. You love him dammit. You love him. You want to be with him.
Thank you diary
Sincerely,
Essa

I sat by the door to hear crying from the other side. I wrote a note. I love you shadow. I'm not going to be home I'm going somewhere. Good bye, Essa. I packed a bag, and ran to the clubhouse. Hoping I wouldn't run into anyone. I made it safely with Spirit already there. I started crying again. She just hugged me. It did little comfort. I wanted him.

Stefan

After I told her she locked herself in her room. I've been knocking for hours now. I saw a little slip that came underneath the door.

I opened it to read little words that meant the world to me but broke my heart at the same time. I love you shadow. I'm not going to be home I'm going somewhere. Good bye, Essa. She wrote.

I just sat there crying. Last time I cried was when I was little. I didn't cry much but today I had the privilege of crying. I heard her window close and I knew she left.

I didn't want her to leave. I wanted her to talk to me. I hit my first on her door out of frustration. How could she leave me. Just like that. Like nothing happened these last few months since I've known her. Like nothing happened between us.

I fell to the floor. My knees felt weak. I wanted Tress. My tress. What was I supposed to do. I tempted going to my workshop but I'd just break everything I've worked so hard on. I was hurt and I was angry.

I took deep breaths and went upstairs into my room. I pulled out the piece of wood I was working on for her birthday. I still love her. I would accept her back once she was ready to. We both just needed to cool off.

I couldn't stop crying. I put the piece of work away and crawled into bed. Clinging to the pillow she used the night before. What if this was all I had left of her.

"Son?" My dad asked at my door. I just nodded because my voice was weak. "She's only at the clubhouse you made her." He said and with that I feel asleep.

I opened my eyes to see her hit by a car. We were fighting. She walked into the road and now I won't ever know. The guy tried to drive off. After he called 911. I just held her in my arms. I didn't care if I wasn't supposed to move her or if I was in the middle of the road. She was all that matters. The ambulance came "son, we need to get her to the hospital." One of the EMT's said. How could she be gone. Be gone just like that. She couldn't be dead. I said hurtful things to her. I never even got the courage to ask her to be my wife. "Son who are you, who is she." The same EMT said. "I'm Stefan Blade her fiancé. Her name is Essa Stevenson. Will she be okay." I said automatically. I got into the back of the ambulance with her. I held her hand. I whispered everything I could think of to comfort her for her to open her eyes.