Carlos
"Carlos -
I know you need time to relax and clear you head. so I'm going to leave you alone just like you told me to. I don't know if you expected this out of me, but I'm going to give you the space you wanted. I've decided to go back to my apartment so you could be by yourself. maybe us not being together will be a good thing. perhaps so you could focus solely on baseball. I wish nothing but the best for you.
Goodbye.
- Jezabelle"
"fuck," I muttered after reading Jezabelle's note she had left for me.
I couldn't believe it. she had left. I couldn't believe Jezabelle was gone with all of her stuff.
did this mean I was single? do I go after her? do I call her and tell her to come back?
what the fuck was I thinking?
I didn't know my yelling could make someone leave out of my life.
I didn't even know if I was going to be able to get her back for good.
Jezabelle wasn't someone I could take my frustrations on. I should've known better.
her leaving just made the anger I was carrying all the heavier.
I needed to talk to someone and I immediately thought of José.
he's helped me before with her and I hope he can help me get her back or at least talking to me.
"what's going on?" José first asked when he got to my house, taking a seat at my kitchen table in front of me.
"she left," I murmured, handing him the note to read.
I stared at José as he read it, growing impatient as he was taking too long to read it and because he wasn't saying anything.
but I didn't want to say anything either.
I had already lost my girlfriend for losing my patience and I wasn't about to lose my best friend.
"you yelled at her, didn't you?" José finally asked.
I nodded and cupped my hands into my face, feeling all types of regret.
"what all did you say to her?" he asked.
"I don't remember," I sighed. "I know I said something like 'leave me alone' and 'give me my space' but I don't know,"
José folded the note and gave it back to me.
"when are you going to call her? we both know you want to,"
"I don't know if she'll talk to me,"
my voice was cracking and I didn't know why. I was feeling empty as a person and I wasn't handling it well.
"well maybe she needs some time too, you know," José tried to reason. "maybe she isn't used to people yelling at her,"
"I don't know José," I breathed. "I feel really, really bad for snapping on her -"
"she's new to this Carlos," José interrupted me. "you know she was trying to make you feel better,"
"I know, I know. this is just too hard for me right now,"
"you'll get over what happened last night. but Jezabelle is a real genuine person. don't let her leave too early, you guys can work this out,"
I nodded at him, knowing he was right. Jezabelle made my life fun in the past month and if anything, she really had me excited for off-season.
