Aqueous Memories | INFINITE Fanfiction

Chapter 16: Irrational

Chapter 16: Irrational

"We say stuff and forget we ever said them, they turn into words said by someone else. Someone who once listened to the words we said. Then we are the ones who listen to the words we think are not ours. But the words we say to ourselves are the words stolen by only us again and again."

~~~

Sungyeol

I am frustrated, and very confused. That's a good place to start when nothing is making sense, I don't know what to think. We both fell and her fall was even worse, but she turns to me and helps me up asking if I am okay. I am sure I am never that nice to her so why is she being such a pushover?

I could see her knee and elbow bleeding but she doesn't see it and quickly takes out tissues and water to clean my wounds. Even when she sees her sleeve stained with blood she ignores it. When she gets up, she ignores her knee as well. It pissed me off.

"Does it still hurt?" She asked me and I wanted to speak up, but my pride stopped me. She is the only pushover in the room-- I catch myself bullying her inside my head and stop.

"Okay then."

Aah. Dammit.

She leaves like that and I regret not replying. When she is out of sight, I notice that she left the first aid kit here. I know Sungyeon doesn't have another one.

Just when I am about to go give her the kit to take care of her wounds, the door bell rings. I sigh and turn around to open the door.

Daeyeol.
My sweet brother.

The way he goes to her and liftes her up, her calling him by his name in every sentence while I get nothing but short stiff replies. And to add on my nuisance, he blames me. And what she does? She smiles at him sadly, her eyes reflecting nothing but gratefulness, compassion, and apology.  I realize this is what it's all about, she always makes sure I feel like I'm the bad guy.

I fist my hands, ignoring the shredding at my knuckles and turn around to storm out of the apartment and forcefully shut the door.

I didn't hurt her, I won't.
I'm just angry that Sungyeon is being too busy with her, that nothing went as I thought it would. It's all messed up. There is no one to blame other than her, or maybe me.

But I refused to blame myself.

The day passes by, Daeyeol doesn't come back and I overhear Sungyeon calling mom and telling her that he's staying over and will be dropped at school with Jihye tomorrow.

I felt left out.

But it is me who asked for this, me pushing her away and treating her badly meant this. It is the only thing I could do, the only way I could react. The next day I walk to school alone and by the time I'm entering, I hear loud familiar voices, chattering.

"No, that wasn't funny." Jihye tells Daeyeol as they walk side by side ahead of me, oblivious to my presence.

"What? How? Of course it was! My jokes are invincible." Unbearable you mean. I scoff quietly and shake my head at him.

But Jihye laughs happily, smacking his shoulder playfully. I see this side of her for the first time. "You are funny Daeyeol, I won't keep that from you." again her soft laughter radiates in the air and I watch from behind as her black hair hugs her shoulders when she moves.