Loving Mystery (Ang P.O.V. ng Babaeng Sawi)

1.18. The Status Quo of Persistence

I slowly opened my eyes.

Pero parang ang liit lang ng bukas nito at parang pagod na pagod pa ito.
I went to the bathroom and faced the mirror. My eyes were swelling from puffiness.

Shocks! Ang pangit ko pa lalo!

I frowned thinking that I've turned this ugly because of Ivan's voicemail last night. Napaka-ewan lang! Then, I heard a knock from the door and another knock and another knock.

Lub. Dub. Lub. Dub. Lub. Dub.

I picked up my sunglasses to hide my puffy eyes and opened the door.

At tama nga ang puso ko, si Ivan nga ang walang humpay na kumakatok.

"What do you need?" I casually asked.

I first noticed the tray of food in his hands. He was shock when he saw me like he did not expect me opening the door after his endless knocking.

"Hoy, may kailangan ka ba?" I growled at him.

Parang natauhan ang kumag at gumagana na ang pag-iisip. Dirideretso naman ito sa kwarto ko, inilapag ang pagkain at umupo. He didn't talk and just pointed at the food saying I should eat first. I sat across him and started eating. I didn't talk too like he's the only one who can keep silent after what happened. I just let him stare at me while I'm eating. Sanay na ako sa mga ganyang titig niya sa akin. I kept on darting him death stares but he can't tell if what kind of stare I'm giving him since my eyes were covered by these sunglasses. Siya ang unang bumasag sa nakabibinging katahimikan naming dalawa.

"You skip breakfast just to avoid me," he said, more of a statement not a question.

I just continued eating while talking.

"I had a hard time sleeping last night so I woke up super late I didn't know I was skipping breakfast," sabi ko naman na may paninisi.

He made that frustrating sound again that I'm starting to get annoyed of and said, "If you want me to say sorry for letting you know, you're not getting it. I'm not taking back what I said."

I stopped eating and faced him, "Over a voicemail? Seriously? You should have made a love letter instead saying all those stuff over a voicemail. You know what, I don't really know what to say to you now."
"You don't need to say anything. We don't need to talk about it right now. I'm not rushing into it.  I'm not pressuring you up," he said straight into my eyes.

I stared blankly at him and form a thin line with my mouth and said, "You know I'm leaving, Ivan. You know that I'm leaving to forget about this sick feeling I have for you. You know I'm leaving to forget about everything."

He made a heavy sigh and made that frustrating sound again.

He suddenly stood up. I thought he was leaving but he went towards the bathroom. Nang bumalik siya may dala na siyang ice bag. He kneeled in front of me, levelling his eyes with mine. He took off the sunglasses and gently pressed the ice bag around my puffy eyes. He then applied a gel that felt soothing cold, so gently like if he does something wrong, I would break apart.

He then said, "I was sick worried about you, I heard you're sobs last night. I wasn't going to talk you into discussing about us, I just wanted to check on you."

He stood up and said calmly, "I'm not giving up on you that easily. Not tomorrow, not the next day, especially not today. Manliligaw ako sa ayaw o sa gusto mo."

He went towards the door and before he exited he gave me a reassuring smile.

"Will you stop doing faces?!" Aimee exclaimed.